“You pay your driver how much?” asked my neighbour, looking as though I had just announced I was financing his daughter’s wedding.

“A little more than the usual.”

“Why?”

“Because I am fond of my gearbox!”

The other day, at a friend’s house, I heard a sound that suggested somebody was feeding steel cupboards into a mixer.

“What was that?” I asked.

“My driver changing gears,” said my friend, grimacing.

His expensive car stood outside, probably wondering whether it could apply for a transfer.

“New car?” I asked.

“Yes!”

“Old driver?”

“Very economical fellow!”

I suspected the fellow’s economy would soon be enjoyed by the mechanic.

Now, my cars are not particularly new. Nobody sees me arriving and whispers, “There goes a man who has made it!” Occasionally, they whisper, “There goes a car that has made it!”

But they last.

I believe one reason is that the chap driving them treats them well. He understands that the clutch is not a footrest, the brakes are not musical instruments, and a pothole is something to avoid rather than explore.

A good driver saves money in ways that never appear on his salary slip.

The trouble is that we study salaries with a magnifying glass and repair bills through tears.

“Saved two thousand on the driver!” we announce proudly.

“Spent twenty thousand on repairs!” we whisper privately.

Then we blame the car.

This cheerful arithmetic extends into our homes and businesses.

We want someone to run our kitchen efficiently, care for our home responsibly, or look after customers patiently. But when salary is discussed, we suddenly become poverty stricken philosophers.

“Money isn’t everything,” we tell the employee.

Naturally, when our own payment is delayed, money becomes everything immediately.

Fair pay does not automatically manufacture competence. Choose carefully. But when you find someone reliable, recognise the value of keeping them.

The old saying goes, “Pay peanuts and you’ll get monkeys.”

Though I suspect even monkeys would now demand a festive bonus and Sundays off.

And during this festive shopping season, apply the same thinking to products.

A bargain shirt is less impressive when, after its first wash, it fits your grandson.

A cheap appliance that needs repeated repairs is simply an expensive appliance collecting its money in instalments.

Do not assume the costliest item is the best. But check quality, durability and service before letting a discount do all your thinking.

Ask what something will cost over the years, not merely what it costs today.

My neighbour still thinks I pay my driver too much.

His mechanic, meanwhile, seems delighted with his own arrangement.

Yesterday, he told me his car needed another major repair.

“What should I do?” he asked.

“Pay a little more attention to the man behind the wheel!”

Because the cheapest salary can produce the dearest bill, and sometimes the smartest saving begins with paying somebody what they are worth..!

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