Whenever people feel cornered, they immediately begin searching for someone powerful to stand up for them. A political party. A famous lawyer. A celebrity. A wealthy businessman. Someone who can speak louder than their opponents. It is rather like the little boy who, after being bullied in school, ran home…
Robert Clements is a journalist and newspaper columnist. With an estimated 6 million readership, his column, Bob’s Banter is published in over 30 newspapers and magazines in nearly every state in India, as well as in the top newspapers of Bangladesh, London and Dubai and is also translated into Hindi, Punjabi and Urdu.
When You are Just a Topic of Discussion…!
The police inspector adjusts his cap and looks at the trembling prisoner. “So you say you’re innocent?” “Yes, sir.” The inspector sighs. “What unfortunate timing.” “Why, sir?” “Because the crowd has already gathered to watch us beat you up.” “But shouldn’t the judge decide we are guilty or innocent first?”…
Parables, Parallels and Preaching..!
A friend once cornered me after a meeting with great determination in his eyes. “Bobby,” he said, “I have a very important message for you.” I looked at my watch. He spoke for twenty minutes. By the end of it I had forgotten what the beginning was, lost track of…
Mere Spectators in Football…!
“Yippee!” screamed my neighbour. I rushed to his house in the middle of the night, thinking the municipality had finally filled the pothole outside while the city slept “Yippee,” he cried again, staring at the television. “Argentina won!” Outside, the pothole continued widening. The street was flooding. A motorcyclist had…
The Umbrella Economy…!
The interview began brilliantly. “So tell us about yourself,” asked the HR manager. “I have a Master’s degree, an MBA, and five years of corporate experience.” “Excellent. Any special skills?” “Yes, sir.” “What are they?” “While holding an umbrella, I can jump over potholes carrying all my office files, and…
Tilting the Balance..!
“Grandpa, race you to the gate!” My grandson had already disappeared down the garden path before I had even decided whether my knees were willing to negotiate with the rest of my body. I took exactly three enthusiastic steps, heard something creak that had not creaked before, and wisely changed…
Disbelieving the Loot..!
“I don’t believe it!” The gentleman folded his newspaper, which showed that his Ram Mandir trust had been systematically looted, smiled confidently and waved his hand dismissively. “Impossible,” he said. “People are just spreading rumours.” I have noticed something fascinating about us. We do not judge news by the evidence….
His Hug makes Sense….!
There is always one emotional scene playing out at every airport and railway station. A young man rushes towards his grandmother, drops his luggage, throws his arms around her and hugs her as though the last ten years have disappeared in one glorious squeeze. Nearby, a mother clings to her…
Flying the White Flag..!
There was a time when the very thought of my children settling abroad filled me with dread. “What if somebody troubles them?” I would wonder. “What if they fall sick? What if something goes wrong? What if they need me?” As fathers, we have an exaggerated opinion of ourselves. We…
Who Owns the Footpath..?
I have finally discovered why Americans don’t walk. They have no vendors on their footpaths. I went for a morning walk in a little American town and was quite disappointed. There wasn’t a single man selling roasted peanuts. Nobody offered me sunglasses, socks, mobile covers, balloons, tea, vada pav or…
Robert Clements is a newspaper columnist and writes a daily column, which has graced the pages of over 60 newspapers and magazines, from a daily column in the Khaleej Times, Dubai, the Morning Star, London, and in nearly every state in India, from The Statesman in Kolkata, to the Kashmir Times in Kashmir to the Trinity Mirror in Chennai.