Mumbai is a crowded city. We crowd into trains, buses, lifts, markets, offices, restaurants and occasionally into spaces where even oxygen has to stand sideways. Our housing societies are no different. Cars compete for parking, children compete for playing space, and neighbours compete to prove that the other neighbour’s flowerpot…
Half a Million Gmail Frauds..!
I just read a piece of news that the Gujarat Police have uncovered a network involving more than five hundred thousand fake Gmail accounts. Great job, Gujarat Police! Half a million fake accounts is no small achievement. It requires intelligence, patience and the ability to distinguish between a real person…
Soft Cuddly Teddy Bears..!
It was the cutest bear that ambled past that afternoon, in the same place where I always sat with my morning coffee at my daughter’s holiday home in the Poconos mountains. She screamed while I simply watched. “What are you frightened of?” I asked. “It looks so cuddly.” Fortunately, the…
The Fall of Bricks and Mortar…!..!
A few days ago marked the twenty fifth anniversary of the crashing down of the twin towers of New York’s World Trade Center. I remember walking up to the viewing gallery with my father twelve years before they fell. He was an engineer, and as we rose higher and higher,…
Stop Carrying the Load Yourself..!
“I cannot carry this anymore, Bob,” said a reader who phoned me. Her voice sounded tired. Not the tiredness that disappears after eight hours of sleep, but the tiredness that enters the heart and quietly unpacks its suitcase. “What are you carrying?” I asked. She told me. It was quite…
Call a Barber for a Haircut..!
I watched my neighbour’s bushes receiving what appeared to be a military assault. Branches flew in every direction. Leaves screamed silently. One side of the hedge stood proudly at attention while the other seemed to have surrendered and fallen to the ground. I looked carefully and realised that the man…
Your Load Bearing Wall..!
Seven people were killed when a hostel building collapsed in Delhi. According to reports, a load bearing wall had allegedly been removed while four additional floors were being constructed. Having been closely connected with the building industry, I have often watched people stare thoughtfully at a wall and say, “Why…
India’s Angry Uncles..!
Our Prime Minister recently at a college gathering where he had been invited to speak, compared those who constantly question his government to naraaz fufas, the permanently upset uncles at a family gathering. I immediately imagined one such Indian gathering where an uncle sat in a corner wearing the expression…
Homeopaths Turn Allopaths..!
I read with a shudder that Maharashtra is allowing homeopaths who complete a one year course in modern pharmacology to prescribe certain allopathic medicines. What an extraordinary shortcut! Perhaps tomorrow, after attending a weekend workshop, I will be permitted to fly an aircraft. I have travelled frequently, watched pilots entering…
Afraid of Smart Glasses…!
The other day, a gentleman stared suspiciously at my spectacles. “Bob, are you wearing smart glasses?” “No,” I replied. “Thank goodness,” he whispered. “Then I had better say whatever I want before you buy a pair.” I laughed, but later pondered his reaction. What was he planning to say that…
Robert Clements is a newspaper columnist and writes a daily column, which has graced the pages of over 60 newspapers and magazines, from a daily column in the Khaleej Times, Dubai, the Morning Star, London, and in nearly every state in India, from The Statesman in Kolkata, to the Kashmir Times in Kashmir to the Trinity Mirror in Chennai.