As I travel all over the world, something that those abroad associate me an Indian with, is with peace and Gandhiji. It’s certainly a wonderful association, but I wonder whether the people at home are bent on destroying that image: “Sir, we are giving away the Gandhi Peace Prize!” say…
The Star Who Kept Looking Up..!
Dolly Parton died yesterday at the age of eighty, and I imagine heaven had a small problem receiving her. “Name?” asked the angel at the gate. “Dolly Parton.” “Occupation?” “I sang a little.” “A little?” asked the angel, looking through a very large heavenly file. “You sold more than a…
Taking the Mountains Home..!
“Your suitcase is overweight,” said my wife as we prepared to leave the Poconos. “Impossible,” I said. “I have hardly bought anything.” She looked at the gifts, books, clothes and assorted objects that had mysteriously multiplied during our holiday. “You have packed half of America,” she said. I opened the…
First Teach Potholes Marathi..!
“Bandra,” I told the auto driver. He looked at me suspiciously. “Bandra?” he repeated. “Yes, Bandra.” “East or West?” “West.” And with that, our highly complicated linguistic exchange was successfully completed. No interpreter was summoned. No dictionary was opened. No government officer stood between us translating my desperate request into…
My Phone Knows Me Better Than My Wife..!
“I wish you hadn’t gone out last evening,” said my wife. I looked at her with the innocent expression husbands have perfected over centuries. “Yesterday evening?” I asked, buying three valuable seconds. “Yes,” she said. “Yesterday evening. Where were you?” “I was thinking about a new book,” I replied. “Where?”…
Wherever You Go..!
Since we are holidaying as a family near Lake Naomi in the Poconos, where my daughter has a home in the pine woods, I became curious about its name. The lake was created in 1895 when members of the Miller family built a dam across Tunkhannock Creek. But it was…
Cancel their Licence Too..!
The Maharashtra Food and Drug Administration has been inspecting restaurants across Mumbai and finding some frightening things. Dirty kitchens. Unsafe food. Improper storage. Questionable handling. Under the guidance of Maharashtra Food Safety Commissioner Tukaram Mundhe, action has been taken, establishments have been ordered to stop food operations, and licences have…
Losing Pitch Together..!
There is a frightening moment in choral singing when the entire choir begins to lose pitch. Nobody notices it at first. The sopranos are singing confidently. The altos are following the sopranos. The tenors are following the altos. And basses, being naturally humble people, are following everybody while looking as…
Intelligent AI..!
A group of elderly rulers gathered in Delhi to study Artificial Intelligence. They entered the classroom with the confidence of men who had never allowed intelligence, artificial or otherwise, to interfere with their decisions. The instructor switched on the computer. “This is AI,” he announced. The rulers leaned forward suspiciously….
Six Hundred Examiners Fail the Exam..!
Six hundred examiners entered the examination hall. Unfortunately, the examination body failed all of them. The NTA has reportedly removed six hundred experts following examination controversies and ordered multiple layers of checking. NTA stands for the National Testing Agency. It is an organisation established by the Government of India to…
Robert Clements is a newspaper columnist and writes a daily column, which has graced the pages of over 60 newspapers and magazines, from a daily column in the Khaleej Times, Dubai, the Morning Star, London, and in nearly every state in India, from The Statesman in Kolkata, to the Kashmir Times in Kashmir to the Trinity Mirror in Chennai.