Every evening, after the twins belonging to my daughter, messed up the full house with their toys and other paraphernalia which little boys throw all over, she would sing, “Clean Up! Clean Up!” with the twins joining in the singing with their three- year old voices. Then they would run…
Eyeball Your Vaccine Jab..!
“Bob, here’s a pic of me, taking the vaccine jab!” So many pics floating all over of friends, elderly uncles and aunts, and political leaders getting the vaccine jab, but not one photo, shows them looking at the shot being administered! There’s a smile on their faces, though tension is…
Just Listen to Odette..!
He was a good friend of mine, and his name was Joe. He was over twenty years older, but I loved being with him, and one day discovered why. He loved to listen, and it was a strange way I found out. I was standing at a bus stop, when…
Getting Rid of Our Dog Smell..!
“What’s that awful smell?” “What smell?” I asked the friend of mine, who had just entered my home. “Can’t you get it?” he asked surprised. It was after he’d left, I went around sniffing at every nook and cranny and finally found the odour came from my old dog, who…
A Very Bad Impression..!
A rude passenger was on the train Bishop Manning of New York was travelling in. This fellow made a great disturbance as he was about to get off, pushing and shoving and accusing others in a most discourteous way. As he finally got his possessions together and started for the…
Afraid of the Vaccine Shot..!
Since my wife, a doc, has already had her vaccine shot, I decided I would field a few questions to her for my safety and the safety of the people, “Who gave you the shot?” I asked. “A fellow doctor!” she said. “Male or female?” I asked. “Why?” she asked,…
Giving Up Something for Lent..!
The other day a reader of mine, told me she would not be reading my column for a month till Easter, “Why?” I asked her, quite surprised, wondering if I’d written something the season of Lent did not lend itself to. “Because I’m giving up WhatsApp for Lent!” she said,…
It’s Saturday..!
Ofcourse it is! Can’t you see I’m lazing around? There’s no bus to catch or appointment to keep, it’s Saturday and a day of rest! And then I look out, there’s a man at my window. “Hello!” I shout, taken aback, “What are you doing there?” But he couldn’t care…
Sedition and Ghostly Talk..!
It’s been whispered that ghosts of yesterday can mix with the nocturnal spirits of today, as no time bar separates them in the supernatural realms, which is why in the other worldly bar that phantom souls frequent, the late Winston Churchill walked across the spooky floor to join the late…
A Squirrel Wearing Glasses..!
For a moment I squinted through my own spectacles, and wondered if I needed to change my pair, “A squirrel wearing glasses!” I said to myself, as I watched her staring at me through her bifocals. “Lecherous, aren’t you?” she said. “Lecherous?” I asked, not for a moment wondering why…
Robert Clements is a newspaper columnist and writes a daily column, which has graced the pages of over 60 newspapers and magazines, from a daily column in the Khaleej Times, Dubai, the Morning Star, London, and in nearly every state in India, from The Statesman in Kolkata, to the Kashmir Times in Kashmir to the Trinity Mirror in Chennai.