“Who lives in that room?” I asked my friend.

“Nobody,” he said.

“Then why do you keep talking to him?”

My friend looked puzzled. But throughout lunch, he had spoken of a man who had hurt him years ago. He remembered the words, the place where they had been spoken and even the expression on the man’s face.

“He apologised, didn’t he?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“And you accepted?”

“Yes.”

Yet every morning, my friend opened the door of his mind and invited the man back in.

Resentment is a tenant who pays no rent. Give him one room and soon he wants the whole house. Worse, living with him becomes a habit.

Absalom had every reason to be furious when his brother Amnon violated their sister Tamar. But instead of confronting what had happened, he went silent. Second Samuel 13:22 says he spoke to Amnon neither good nor bad, because he hated him.

For two years, Absalom kept that hatred alive. Then he arranged for Amnon to be killed.

Surely, you might think, the anger ended there.

It did not. Amnon was gone, but Absalom’s resentment remained.

Resentment had become a habit, and a habit needs somewhere to go.

Soon it found another target in his father, David. Absalom turned the people against him and drove him from Jerusalem. The grievance that began with his brother had grown until it threatened a kingdom.

In the end, as Absalom fled from David’s forces, his head caught in the branches of a tree. His mule went on without him, leaving him hanging there. He died before he could free himself.

Resentment had promised him power. It had taken his peace, his family and finally his life.

We may never seize a throne. We may attend church, sing louder than everyone else and even preach a sermon on love. Yet inside us, the tenant may be sitting comfortably, stirring an old injury and suggesting a new person to blame.

Paul says not to let the sun go down on our anger. James tells us that human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. Psalm 37:8 says, “Cease from anger.” And when Jonah resented God’s mercy towards Nineveh, God asked him, “Is it right for you to be angry?”

Perhaps He is asking us the same question.

Begin by praying for the person who wounded you. That does not mean calling their wrong right or placing yourself in their hands again. It means refusing to let their wrong govern your heart.

From the cross, beaten, humiliated and dying, Jesus prayed, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” He could see beyond His wounds. Try doing the same, but if you cannot yet. Tell Him that, and ask Him to help you forgive.

You have housed resentment long enough. Let God take charge of the house.

Throw your tenant out..!

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