“Can’t you see I’m suffering?” we shout at the person who has brought us a glass of water.

The person can certainly see it. After that reception, they are suffering too.

I have often noticed how some believers acquire a different voice when trouble arrives. The voice that sang so sweetly on Sunday becomes rather frightening on Monday. The wife gets snapped at, the children disappear, and even the dog decides that fellowship would be better enjoyed under the bed.

“I’m going through a difficult time,” we explain.

Yes, but must everybody around us be enrolled in it?

Then I think of Paul.

A prisoner, dependent on others, with every reason to fill a letter with complaints. We could have understood him writing, “Philemon, please send something for my discomfort. Also, find somebody influential who can get me out of here.”

But Paul’s letter turns our attention towards somebody else.

Onesimus.

A slave whose future hangs uncertainly before him.

Paul asks Philemon to receive him as a beloved brother. And then comes an extraordinary offer: If Onesimus has wronged you or owes you anything, charge it to me.

Charge it to me?

Paul, surely you have enough troubles charged to your account already!

Yet, from captivity, he reaches out to protect another man. He asks that Onesimus be welcomed with the dignity of a brother. His own confinement has not imprisoned his compassion.

Then we come to Calvary.

Jesus hangs on the cross, enduring dreadful pain. Beside Him, a condemned man asks to be remembered.

Now, if ever there was a moment when someone might understandably have said, “Please, I cannot deal with your problems just now,” this was it.

But Jesus answers, “Today shalt thou be with me in paradise.”

Even there, He gives another suffering man hope.

We speak often about people seeing Christ in us. We imagine this happens when we carry our Bibles, deliver impressive prayers, or sing with our eyes tightly shut.

But perhaps our families are watching most closely when our eyes are wet.

When the diagnosis frightens us. When money runs short. When disappointment sits beside us through a sleepless night.

Who speaks through us then?

Pain is real. Exhaustion is real. Nobody needs to pretend that suffering is pleasant. We may need help, quiet, rest, and someone who will listen.

But the person helping us is not the enemy.

The hand offering water should not receive the anger meant for our circumstances.

Perhaps today, even in our distress, we can ask, “Have you eaten?” Perhaps we can thank the wife who has stayed awake, reassure the frightened child, or notice that somebody beside us is hurting too.

Paul had chains, yet made room for Onesimus. Jesus had a cross, yet made room for a thief.

And we?

Can we make room for compassion while carrying our pain?

Because those closest to us discover who lives within us, not only when we rise to sing, but when we are down and still reach out in love..!

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