For those who have become house addicts like me, here’s an almost real life story:

“You need to go out once in a while!” the wife’s been telling me, “Otherwise a stage will come when the world outside won’t know you at all!”

“Everybody knows me!” I said easily, “See the number of readers who wrote back yesterday!”

But I decided to cash a cheque today and go myself! The cashier at the bank looked at me strangely, “Is this your cheque?”

“It’s my money,” I said as I signed again and had him looking at my signature suspiciously; I didn’t blame him, for all you know he must have been thinking I was trying to pilfer money from my driver’s account.

“Account number one hundred and two!” said a sweet computer generated voice.

“Sweet lady, make my number come faster!” I said loudly.

I looked at the clock, the clock stared stonily back at me. I smiled at the cashier; he looked away then peeked at me from the corner of his eye and with the other eye kept a steady glance at the bank guard.

The mechanical voice called out the next number and I looked for a place to sit, there was none. The numbers went by slowly as the clock’s hands moved quickly by.

“He’s very slow!” I told an old lady standing next to me. She looked at me then moved closer to the guard who walked by me. I grinned at him, he looked away and called another guard, they both walked by and laughed. I laughed with them, but they stopped immediately.

I stared at the clock, “You’re fast!” I said, “You won’t get a bonus for keeping such!”

The guard looked at the second guard, who stared at me as the old lady moved farther away. I guessed they wouldn’t approach me till I did something really suspicious; talking to the clock didn’t count as such I knew. “Sweet lady, have you forgotten my number?” I asked the computer voice and then rushed to the counter as it was called out. Both guards rushed with me but moved away sheepishly when I produced the precious token.

“Was there a robbery in the bank?” asked my driver, “they’ve just rushed a police van outside, and they are watching the bank doors very carefully!”

“I didn’t see anyone weird inside,” I said, as we drove home, and I walked up to my apartment slowly, then rushed to my waiting laptop. “How did you like the outside world?” asked the wife.

“Did you make any friends?” asked my daughter.

“I tried,” I said, “but I was rebuffed by the clock and a woman with a sweet voice!”

“Bob!” said the wife, “the bank manager’s on the phone, “he says some weird guy came and withdrew money from your account…!”

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