Turning Veg..!

After reading a full page advertisement in yesterday’s newspaper, advising everybody to become vegetarians, my millionaire neighbour a diehard non- vegetarian decided he would become a veggie. “One might as well get used to something before it becomes a law and takes you by total surprise,” he said as he looked up a mango tree, “I have told my cook to cook those leaves for lunch!”
“That’s a mango tree,” I said, “You eat the fruit and not the leaves.”
“You can’t put those leaves into a curry?”
“Only raw mangoes,” I said, “you eat the ripe ones raw and cook the raw ones!”
My neighbour scratched his head and stared at the ripe mangoes on the tree. “What happens if I eat the leaves?”
“I don’t know,” I said.
“What happens if I ate the raw mangoes raw and put the ripe mangoes into a curry?”
“Doesn’t sound like a good idea!” I said.
“What about cauliflower?”
“What about it?” I asked.
“Do I eat it cooked or uncooked?”
“You can’t eat it uncooked,” I said disgustedly.
“I’m sorry I didn’t know,” said my neighbour, now beginning to look a little worried, “What about this fruit?”
“It’s a carrot,” I said, “it’s not a fruit it’s a root, which is eaten as a vegetable!”
“A root eaten like a vegetable but not a vegetable?” asked my neighbour, “so it’s allowed isn’t it. I mean as a vegetarian I can eat it?”
“Sure you can,” I said patting him on the back.
“This vegetarianism business is going to be a long journey,” he said. “is it okay if I eat this vegetable?”
“It’s not a vegetable,” I said looking at the onion he was holding out to me.
“It’s a fruit?”
“No,” I said.
“Let me guess, it’s a root?”
“No,” I said, “it’s a bulb!”
“A bulb,” said my neighbour throwing the onion away, “heck, I don’t want to get electrocuted chewing a bulb! I thought being a vegetarian was safe?”
“It’s supposed to be,” I said.
“And do you eat the bulb cooked?”
“Coked or raw,” I said patiently.
“I think I need expert advice before I get into this vegetarian business!”
“I agree,” I said as I watched him go to his phone.
“Who are you calling?” I asked.
“The newspaper. I want to put a full page also!” said my millionaire neighbour.
“Saying what?” I asked.
“Saying that this is a free country, so please leave people alone with the eating habits they are used to, and…”
“And what?” I asked.
“To also leave people alone with the way they want to worship God, the way they want to live, and the way they want to culturally be, otherwise we all may end up eating leaves while the fruit of our beautiful culture will finally hang rotten, rancid and ruined.!”


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9 thoughts on “Turning Veg..!”

  1. Hahaha
    Eating Vegetables makes us more strong. Because may people in this Earth haven’t tested young Jack fruit curry , boiled jack with coconut
    There are so many Vegetables, Yam’s Fruits that gives us all the nessery niutery we need to live very healthy long Life ?

  2. Mango can be eaten ripe..raw in different ways..who cannot resist kairi with salt..chilli powder.
    .mango pickles..jams..amchaat..favourite bygone snacks..even mango leaves boiled and powdered dry very good for diabetics..lots of use of mango..maybe other veggies can be had..gajar halwa..gamer pickle..every fruit and veggie has it’s own uses..everything made by God to be used for the good of mankind..

  3. Your multi millionaire friend can eat anything; mangoes, mango leaves , raw mangoes etc as long as he does not intend eating “Mango Man” (Aam Aadmi)

  4. Ha ha ha! That was fun with fun responses. It’s good drama conversation, Bobby. A video showed a hungry man eating leaves. Ripe mangoes too can be used as side dish after you season and cook it, with chapathis.But the decision arrived at finally is brilliant.

  5. We never thought too much about the humble ginger..only used in curries..but now because of Covid 19..dried ..cooked in little honey..rolled in sugar..made a very good sweet to chew on and ward of Covid..better than lozenges from the shop..what about the lovely lime or lemon too..lemon tree very pretty..and the lemon flower is sweet..bt the fruit of the lemon is impossible to eat..not for Indians fortunately..we need it as a tastemaker for all dishes.from the lovely chana chaat to everyday cooking.

  6. Daniel comes to mind, and how he rejected the meats and stuck to pulses. Guess it’s what comes out of the mouth that defileth the man and what he puts into it. No one should dictate as to what one eats

  7. With the instant 4 hour lockdown notice the migrants and the poor people ate cooked leaves with chapati just to survive..alot of promises were made by the rich..bt no one came to their help except a few compassionate people..God help us if they want to check our daily menu..

  8. Hilarious ! It’s complicated eating veg ! As complicated as the googly punchline .. social message !

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