Once in a while I’ll need to remind you of the days before the Coronavirus, so that you’ll easily slip back into it, when all this tamasha gets over:
The wife didn’t look happy when she announced there was somebody at the door, “He says he’s the GPS man!” said the wife.
“Welcome, welcome!” I said to the salesman as he brought me the Global Positioning System I’d ordered for my car.
“You never say welcome, welcome like that to me!” muttered the wife glaring at the salesman and not inviting him to sit down.
“Sit down!” I said, “now tell me about the system!”
“You will never get lost once you install this system!” said the GPS man.
‘Get lost!” muttered the wife.
“She is thrilled with the system!” I said quickly, “Aren’t you thrilled with the system dear?” I asked the wife sternly.
“Why do you want to change the present system?” asked the wife looking at me, arms akimbo.
“I didn’t know you already have one!” said the worried salesman, “when did you get it installed sir?”
“Over twenty years ago!” said the wife.
“You mean there was such technology then?” asked the salesman uneasily.
“Better than your silly GPS technology!” said the wife haughtily.
“Ma’am mine provides the driver turn by turn directions to a selected destination by the shortest route!” said the salesman.
“So does the old one!” said the wife.
“With this one you don’t have to stop and ask for directions ever!”
“So also with the old one!” said the wife triumphantly.
“My system can even be fitted to the windscreen!”
“The old one doesn’t have to be fitted anywhere!” said the wife with a smile, “It’s quite comfortable in the passenger seat or in the rear, though the back seat is probably the best place for it!
“Already one thousand drivers in this city are using the GPS system!” said the salesman.
“Millions of drivers throughout the world rely on the old system!” said the wife proudly.
“At an additional cost, the GPS system comes with a pleasant computer generated female voice!”
“At no additional cost the old system comes with a very familiar and loving woman’s voice!” said the wife.
The salesman got up and went to the door, “Thank you sir, may you enjoy the system you already have!”
“Why did you chase the poor man away?” I asked angrily.
“How dare you replace me?” asked the wife, “There is nobody who can guide you from point A to point B like me. When I am with you, you never drive round in circles like you otherwise do! How much were you going to pay for this Global Positioning System?”
“Twenty five thousand rupees!”
“Dearest!” said the wife, “for one tenth that amount you can retain me; all I ask is a dinner out on Saturday, a visit to the club on Sunday and the rest of the time I will be your…”
“Back seat driver!” I completed in a whisper, looking longingly at the retreating figure of the GPS man.
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9 thoughts on “The Wife and the GPS Salesman..!”
Enjoyed your article of the day!.
How I wish we poor drivers could somehow get rid of these back seat drivers!!?
Super Bob….!!!! only because of the back seat drivers we are on track till now ??
As if your wife will do that haha, Blessed day Bob! Good humour with some lessons for some… Not me haha!
Wives are the best Company while driving.
Wives have some special rights which no one should challenge.
If one were headed to the graveyard and the GPS announced that we have reached our destination it would shake us up !
But the wife wouldn’t say a stupid thing like that !
After all ,wives are the Genetically Perfected Superiors !
Very good one Bob. Enjoyed the piece much
Good one Bob!.I Do hope no more tempers..turn right..turn left..go slow.
Stop..red light on.
Green now go..police following you…only laughter on the road till you reach your destination.
More then GPS it is the wife’s constant nagging which puts us off.