The British Are Coming Back..!

“The British are coming back! The British are coming back!”

The frightened cry travels through villages, election meetings and television studios.

“Where are they?” asks an alarmed citizen. “Have their ships entered Mumbai harbour?”

“No!”

“Have British soldiers landed?”

“No!”

“Has the Queen returned?”

“She is dead.”

“Then who is coming?”

The political leader points dramatically towards a tiny church where a priest, two nuns and twelve parishioners are singing a hymn.

“There they are!”

Ah, now I understand.

How very cleverly anger against our former British rulers is being repackaged as fear of Christianity. The British ruled India. Most British people were Christians. Therefore every Indian Christian must secretly be British and colonialism must be waiting inside every church cupboard.

“The British are coming back!” shouts the leader.

“They are disguised as nurses!”

Another man joins him. “Some are hiding inside schools!”

A third whispers, “Be careful of that old Christian lady. She may be carrying the East India Company in her handbag.”

What magnificent political logic!

By the same reasoning, because the British drank tea, every tea stall must be an imperial outpost. Because they wore trousers, all trousers should be investigated. Because they built railways, every railway passenger must be attempting to restore the empire.

But logic is useless when fear is available.

Colonialism was about political power, economic exploitation and territorial conquest. Jesus never commanded His disciples to seize India, collect taxes or ship its wealth overseas. He possessed no army, palace or throne. He washed feet, touched lepers, defended the weak and warned rulers against arrogance.

Perhaps that is the real problem.

Christianity itself does not frighten powerful people. The teachings of Christ do. He tells rulers that they are servants. He says the poor matter. He insists that truth cannot be buried beneath propaganda. Such ideas can be exceedingly inconvenient during an election.

There is another small difficulty.

America is also a Christian majority nation. Yet our leaders do not land in Washington shouting, “The British are coming back!”

They smile, embrace American leaders and speak warmly about friendship.

Apparently Christianity becomes a colonial threat only when practised by a poor Indian villager. When represented by a powerful American President, it becomes strategic partnership.

An Indian Christian running a school is suspected of conversion. An American Christian running a multinational corporation is invited to invest.

What miraculous theology!

And why fear Indian Christians at all? They form only a tiny percentage of India’s population. They have no invading army, battleships or imperial treasury. Their institutions serve millions of Indians of every faith.

So perhaps the cry is not really about the British returning.

Perhaps it is intended to make frightened voters run towards those who promise protection from an invasion that exists only in their speeches.

“The British are coming back!” they shout.

No, dear reader.

The British are not coming back.

But the old colonial trick of dividing people in order to rule them certainly has..!

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6 thoughts on “The British Are Coming Back..!”

  1. Interestingly christian countries are never accused of forced conversions or any kind of conversions. But where their % is 2% they become a threat

    1. Another brilliant salvo from you Bob- thank you
      I could not help, but smile when I read this reflection of today

  2. If memory serves us right, no Indian Christian has ever carried out a terrorist attack in India.

  3. The British need not come back. What they sought to do seems to have been accomplished with our leaders fomenting division on the basis of caste and creed and the bogey of conversions

  4. “Divide and rule.” Is something the politicians are conveniently using whether it be with regard to religion, caste or creed. When will we realise that if we get a cut anywhere on our hands or feet. the blood will be red! Not blue for some. Black for others or any other colour just RED!

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