“Sir, our newspaper has never been fuller,” said the editor proudly. The owner looked pleased. “What have we put on the front page?” “A full page advertisement for luxury apartments.” “And the second?” “A car advertisement.” “What about the news?” The editor lowered his voice. “Sir, the journalist has found…
The Ministry of Moving Lips..!
“Sir, are you singing?” The question came from a man standing beside me at an imaginary government function. He had a programme in one hand and a notebook in the other. “I am listening,” I whispered. “You have to sing,” he said. “I am watching your mouth.” I looked at…
Recognising the Suicide Epidemic….!
There is an epidemic spreading through our country. Young people are taking their own lives after examination failures, disciplinary action, broken relationships, workplace pressure and other setbacks. Each death is a tragedy. Each grieving family deserves compassion, not accusation. Suicide is complex and mental health struggles are real. Those suffering…
Rahul the Comedian..!
A ruling party spokesman has suggested that Rahul Gandhi should consider becoming a stand up comedian. I am sure it was meant as an insult. But it may have accidentally become the finest compliment the party has paid him. After all, a stand up comedian became President of Ukraine and…
Where Are the Police?
A young student at IIT Bombay reportedly carried his mobile phone into an examination hall, photographed the question paper and uploaded it to an artificial intelligence platform for answers. The professor noticed. Now, in those ancient days before artificial intelligence, this was called cheating. Today, perhaps we need a more…
Your Name in Gold..!
She stood at the traffic light holding a bunch of roses. They looked tired, and so did she. A large car stopped beside her. Inside sat a famous film star wearing dark glasses large enough to hide both her eyes and her expression. The little child, flower seller hurried towards…
Light Diyas for the King..!
A constitution replaces a king. But oh, how we love a king. We tell the country to ‘light diyas on his birthday’, and praise him high and low. And then we say we are a democracy, wave little flags, hold elections and proudly display our inked fingers. Then, the moment…
No Chip on My Shoulder…!
“India is getting five billion dollars,” said my neighbour excitedly. I nearly dropped my teacup. “From whom?” I asked. “And more importantly, when do we divide it?” “It is not for you,” he said gruffly. “The American company Applied Materials plans to invest five billion dollars in India over the…
Ganpati Festival and Mumbai…!
Mumbai is a crowded city. We crowd into trains, buses, lifts, markets, offices, restaurants and occasionally into spaces where even oxygen has to stand sideways. Our housing societies are no different. Cars compete for parking, children compete for playing space, and neighbours compete to prove that the other neighbour’s flowerpot…
Half a Million Gmail Frauds..!
I just read a piece of news that the Gujarat Police have uncovered a network involving more than five hundred thousand fake Gmail accounts. Great job, Gujarat Police! Half a million fake accounts is no small achievement. It requires intelligence, patience and the ability to distinguish between a real person…
Robert Clements is a newspaper columnist and writes a daily column, which has graced the pages of over 60 newspapers and magazines, from a daily column in the Khaleej Times, Dubai, the Morning Star, London, and in nearly every state in India, from The Statesman in Kolkata, to the Kashmir Times in Kashmir to the Trinity Mirror in Chennai.