An Air India aircraft dropped nearly three hundred feet during a flight from Phuket to Delhi, and the captain later reportedly tested positive for marijuana.

The passengers were terrified. Several were injured. The airline was embarrassed.

But nobody seemed concerned about the marijuana seller.

I believe the pilot and the airline should sue him immediately.

“This marijuana was supposed to take me high,” the pilot might tell the court. “Instead, my aircraft dropped three hundred feet!”

The seller would look offended.

“My product has never failed before,” he would say. “Everyone who uses it goes high.”

“Then why did the plane go down?”

“Perhaps the pilot did not inhale deeply enough.”

This could become an important aviation case because it may reveal a secret national fuel saving strategy.

As we know, India spends precious foreign exchange importing fuel. We have already mixed ethanol with petrol to reduce the import bill. Perhaps marijuana is the next great scientific breakthrough.

Instead of filling the aircraft with costly aviation fuel, airlines could simply give the pilot a few puffs before takeoff.

Within minutes, the pilot would be high.

And since the aircraft goes wherever the pilot goes, the aircraft would also climb.

No costly fuel. No roaring engines. No long runways.

Just one pilot, one joint and two hundred passengers rising gently into the clouds while the Finance Minister announces another dramatic reduction in foreign exchange expenditure.

The captain would come over the public address system.

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard. We shall shortly be cruising at thirty five thousand feet, depending on the quality of today’s supply. Kindly remain seated while the captain gets sufficiently high.”

There could even be different classes of marijuana.

Economy pilots would receive the ordinary variety and reach fifteen thousand feet.

Business Class pilots would get a stronger brand and cruise at thirty thousand feet.

For international flights, the airline would issue something powerful enough to take the captain, aircraft and passengers straight across the Atlantic.

Airport fuel tanks could be converted into enormous flowerpots. Aviation fuel companies could become gardening firms. Pilots would no longer require altitude training. They would merely need practice in getting high at the correct speed.

Unfortunately, something clearly went wrong on this flight. The pilot allegedly went high, but the aircraft went low.

That is unacceptable performance.

The seller must refund the airline, compensate the passengers and explain why his product failed to lift several tonnes of metal into the sky.

After all, when a nation’s precious foreign exchange depends on marijuana, quality control is essential.

Otherwise, while the pilot reaches heaven, the passengers may reach it before him..!

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