Partnership or Settling Her Down?

“Bob, please look for a suitable boy for my daughter!” said the voice of an old friend of mine on the phone.

“So your daughter has finally decided to get married?” I asked surprised.

“No, but I want her to settle down!” said the mother.

Settle down!

What a sentence; more like a death sentence than anything else; it’s like saying that whatever she’s been doing till now has been wild, uncivilized and barbaric, and now since those days have come to an end, we will have to settle her down. Or even worse, she’s been like some sort of wild horse rushing round a horse pen and we need a good rider, a cowboy to tame her and ‘settle her down’!

I think it’s time we of the older generation realize times have changed, that women are not willing to ‘settle down’ in the conventional way and that instead of ‘settling down’ a better way of looking at things is for the parents to look for someone who will be able to join their daughter in her journey towards her goal, someone who will not have a ‘taming the horse’ attitude but a boy who will have a ‘let me build my partner’ attitude.

You need husbands today who are encouragers, who will strengthen and motivate, who will support and further the advancement of your child.

It takes a confident man to be able to do this, so look for a confident fellow.

There are many who are such, who won’t feel insecure when their wife joins in a conversation, who won’t start panicking and feel small when she gets admiring glances from others, and who will feel proud of her as she rises in her own career and life: Even when she overtakes them.

Look for such men.

Throw out the others.

I have seen the most confident girls being brutally shaped to the fancies of an insecure man, seen laughter being replaced with haunted eyes, and intelligent conversation with silence.

And who is to blame?

The father and mother who hear the voices of their friends and relatives asking why, their daughter hasn’t settled down. Put the blame on them, fairly and squarely. Maybe it’s you!

“She’s not going to settle down!”

“She doesn’t want to get married?”

“She does at her own time, when she meets the right man, but never to settle down, she’s already settled down!”

Don’t settle your child down, search for a partner, who will honour the partnership..!
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10 thoughts on “Partnership or Settling Her Down?”

  1. Very true Bob Marriage should be a partnership where each one enriches the life of the other, which will then help them to grow and bloom together.

  2. Very well said!
    We as strong and wise women can settle down ourselves.
    Strong women need strong partners more, for walking next to eachother in their life and growing together.

  3. Marriages are supposed to be prayerfully chosen and the partner will automatically surface provided you ask the good Lord on your knees.I believe that God provides the right one.

  4. I’m a woman & in our hearts all of us are looking for the ideal man, that perfect companion who will also be your best friend. Life is a journey & what more can one ask for than a God fearing spouse who understands the vows he made on their wedding day.

  5. So true Bobby. Marriage councelling is required for a year before the wedding takes place. If one rushes in haste, she could repent at leasure. If children are born, they’ll have no peace at home then as parents are dysfunctional as role models of partnership.

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