Nappy Changing and the Paternity Bill..!

My young neighbour Kumar, whose wife is expecting a baby, rode in the lift with me to the car park below, “How’s the wife?” I asked pleasantly.
“Very excited!” said Kumar mournfully.
“Something worrying you?” I asked, “I know the name of a very good gynecologist!”
“Did you hear they are going to pass a Paternity Leave Bill!” said Kumar.
“You don’t say?” I asked happily, “You will have lots of time with your baby! India is sure moving ahead! This must have been voiced by all our male MPs in both the houses!”
“No!” said my neighbour, “By the women! They want to pass this paternity bill!”
“How kind of them!” I said as the lift came to a halt but my neighbour seemed reluctant to get off, “Come,” I said, “Lets go to our cars!”
“She’s watching from the window!” said Kumar, “Do you know how to change nappies?”
“Who’s watching from the window, and what’s this about changing nappies?”
“The wife is watching,” whispered Kumar, “She told me to get into the lift with you, and learn how to change babies diapers! I am a broken man! I am finished! I don’t know how to boil a cup of water, how will I change nappies?”
“But why would your wife want you to learn all this?” I asked, a little confused.
“So she can go shopping again, attend the gym, get back her figure! She has lots of post- delivery plans!”
“What about the baby?” I asked.
“She’s told her doctor to hand the baby to me as soon as it is born, and I will do the rest. I don’t even know how to hold a baby!” whispered my crestfallen neighbour and I held him gently as he wept on my shoulder.
We walked slowly to the car park. I heard a window opening above, I looked up and saw the smiling, happy face of his wife, flushed with the joys of pregnancy, “Have you taught him to change nappies?” she shouted in her nasal tone as her husband wept even louder on my shoulder.
“I don’t know how to change nappies!” I whispered as we both took a hanky and tried to learn the rudiments of nappy changing on the bonnet of my car.
“Just go to Google search!” chuckled his wife from the window, “It shows everything, nappy changing, baby holding, baby crying, everything. By feeding time I will return from shopping, don’t worry!”
We both looked in the direction of Delhi and wept for our lost freedom..!

3 thoughts on “Nappy Changing and the Paternity Bill..!”

  1. Hahaha Bobby really good. Come to think of it I’ve fathered two many many years ago but haven’t learnt to change a nappy. Probably will gain that experience after I have grandchildren

  2. Haha Bob! I remember our neighbor’s wife tale. After 3 of their kids grown up, one night when they were in bed, she ask her husband, shall we try for the 4rd child? To which her husband replied, promise me you’ll take care of it, am done with 3,Enough! (her job for the babies were delivering and breast feeding) poor guy! Hehe

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