“When you have something against another Christian, why do you file a lawsuit and ask a secular court to decide the matter?” 1 Corinthians 6:1
Oh what a mockery we make of our Christianity!
I once attended Christmas at a church, and there, instead of the good priest talking joyously about the birth of Christ he talked about a violent headache he was having!
“Was the priest upset the little baby Jesus was born in a manger?” I asked a member of the congregation while we stood outside after service.
“No, he’s tense; waiting for the court verdict!” said the same member looking at me strangely, “the Bishop’s thrown him out and he’s filed a case!”
And the story goes on.
At another church I hear fireworks and wondered whether Easter was being celebrated ahead of time. “We won the case!”
“What case?” I asked.
“Land case! Now we can build our houses in the church compound!”
How long will it be before you build your houses inside the church?
I envisage a church service soon, that will follow along these lines:
“Our reading”, announces the priest, “will be from the Judgement of D’ Monte versus the church in the famous case of 1964 when the court ruled in favour of D’Monte, regarding tenancy rights of the church vestry!”
The congregation stands as a senior member does the reading from a modern law book, which has replaced the Bible on the pulpit. The padre then walks to the pulpit and announces: “Our first hymn is Onward Christian People!”
New hymnals with new words are opened and people sing out lustily:

“Onward Christian people battling out in court
Razing cross and steeple, give Satan yer vote
Lawyers, clerks and judges, smile at us with glee,
As the churches offertory, becomes their daily fee.
Onward Christian people, going all out to war
Armed not with the Bible, but with the books of Law!

“Dearly beloved,” says the priest as the people sit, “I am glad you sent me to Law school last year! Seminary training is now obsolete, most seminaries have closed down and young priests now study in colleges of Law and are grabbed by churches immediately!”
The congregation clap enthusiastically, but their beloved padre motions them to silence, “Today our guest speaker is my Prof in college, and the one who wrote the best seller, “How to Oust your Bishop.” And is now writing his latest; ‘Selling Church Land!’ Ladies and gentlemen, Professor Lucifer!”
Not one member of the congregation is perturbed with the horns on the professor’s head, nor the tail, which he carefully places on top of the pulpit.
“Dear church,” cackles Professor Lucifer, “I hope you don’t mind the new choir, with their horns and tails, that I’ve brought with me, directly from hell. With all the good court work you’re doing, I thought it would be good to have a glimpse of those you will be joining soon.!”

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