“Dad!’ asked my younger one, “Should we buy a Christmas tree?” “No,” I said, “There’s some in the garden, have a look at them!” ‘There’s two!” she said, and giggled, ‘but they are more or less apologies for trees. One looks like it’s wearing a mini skirt, with branches coming…
Robert Clements is a journalist and newspaper columnist. With an estimated 6 million readership, his column, Bob’s Banter is published in over 30 newspapers and magazines in nearly every state in India, as well as in the top newspapers of Bangladesh, London and Dubai and is also translated into Hindi, Punjabi and Urdu.
Sweet Revenge…!
The wizened old lady, sat with a copy of the newspaper in her wrinkled hands and studied the obituary columns intently. “He, he, he,” she suddenly giggled to herself, “she’s dead, she’s dead. Oh, thank you, Lord, you’ve done it again!” “Who is it mom?” shouted a voice from inside…
Rocking My Life Away..!
A picture of a rocking chair in an advertisement of an old aged home, got me interested. ‘Relax!’ it said, “And let your life rock away!” I looked at it, and felt a sense of peace and calm. “Imagine!” I told myself, “rocking my life away!” And in my mind,…
Old Grouch..!
Old Grouch came for the get together the other day. I had not seen Old Grouch in years and was surprised when I walked into the club and found him sitting there. I was not too happy to see Old Grouch, nor was he glad to see me. Old Grouch…
Burying the Past..!
The worried looking man entered the doctor’s clinic and allowed himself to be thoroughly examined. “You’re okay,” smiled the doc, “but something seems to be on your mind?” “Well, to tell you the truth doc,” said the worried man, “I seem to be getting forgetful! No it’s actually worse than…
Chief Guest Boris…!
Many world leaders and people across the globe are wondering why dear Boris from Merry England’s been chosen India’s Republic Day chief guest. A tabloid in London interviewed him, and found he was blown over by the invitation, “It’s not every day one gets an invitation to visit our colonies!”…
A Poke In Time..!
Being married to a doctor, I hardly know if I’m going to be greeted next morning with a hug or a syringe! Today it was the syringe for me. “I’m okay!” I shout in protest. “What is the need to draw blood so early in the morning? Sadist wife!” “Listen…
The 100 Crore Effective Vaccine..!
With a vaccine manufacturer threatening to sue a volunteer for blaming his illness on the vaccine, I decided to journey into the future and accompany the foreign representative of a fictitious vaccine manufacturer in 2021, as he did a survey after the vaccine had been given to everybody, “Let us…
I See The Sea..!
Ah the joy of success! Whether it be the building of an empire or raising of family and children. The climbing up of formidable mountain and magnificent view before..! In days gone by an Indian chieftain who wanted to measure the endurance of his youths, would instruct them to run…
A World Without Glasses..!
On silver sands on a beachfront a pair of reading glasses looked myopically at the sea. They belonged to me. I discovered they were missing only after reaching home. Couldn’t find my spare pair either, nor the ones made for computer screen. I could do everything but read. The morning…
Robert Clements is a newspaper columnist and writes a daily column, which has graced the pages of over 60 newspapers and magazines, from a daily column in the Khaleej Times, Dubai, the Morning Star, London, and in nearly every state in India, from The Statesman in Kolkata, to the Kashmir Times in Kashmir to the Trinity Mirror in Chennai.