Thank God for the retaliatory strikes. Because if they hadn’t happened, I’m quite sure we would’ve seen war break out—not at the borders, but at the local tea stall near your house. Yes, between Sharmaji, who suddenly discovered his inner Chanakya, and Khan saab, who just wanted to buy a…
Robert Clements is a journalist and newspaper columnist. With an estimated 6 million readership, his column, Bob’s Banter is published in over 30 newspapers and magazines in nearly every state in India, as well as in the top newspapers of Bangladesh, London and Dubai and is also translated into Hindi, Punjabi and Urdu.
I’ll Be Back Soon..!
Was speaking last evening to a man whose wife is an army officer, posted somewhere near the treacherous snow-dusted stretches of Kashmir. He looked like a calm man, not the kind you’d expect to betray his emotions—but there, behind his tired smile, sat a pair of eyes that had clearly…
Of Tunnels, Terror, and Tears..!
Exactly two years ago, I found myself descending into the bowels of the earth—into the underground city of Derinkuyu in Cappadocia, Türkiye. A vast subterranean labyrinth, carved out of volcanic rock, where some twenty thousand early Christians once lived, breathed, bartered and believed—in peace, but not in freedom. Why underground?…
The Great Indian Doorstep Drama…!
It begins, quite innocently. You’ve had a delightful evening at your friend’s place. Good food, warm conversation, possibly a brief skirmish about which cricket team is truly “in transition,” and now it’s time to head home. You stand, stretch politely, express thanks, and begin the ceremonious journey to the door….
The Angel and the Worms…!
I still remember that day. Not because it was special, but precisely because I tried to make it sound like it was. There I was at a worksite, standing near one of my employees—Peter, I think his name was—who looked at me with the sort of admiration usually reserved for…
How Newspapers Won the War..!
The newspapers are dying. They were once proud. Noble. The Fourth Estate! Guardians of democracy! The ones who made politicians sweat with their headlines and editorials that sounded like stern headmasters with canes in their hands. But slowly, they are being replaced—by phone screens and keyboard warriors. Suddenly, every colony…
Only Ninety-Nine..!
There was wailing next door. Not muffled sobs but full-throated, guttural wailing. My wife looked up from her tea, her eyebrows knitted in worry. “Something’s happened,” she said. I nodded. “Death in the family,” I whispered with the air of someone who watches too many crime shows. “Worse,” she said,…
Lifting the Stick of Faith..!
I often wonder what went through Moses’ mind as he stood with the Red Sea in front and the sound of furious chariot wheels behind. Maybe he scratched his beard thoughtfully—because let’s face it, if ever there was a situation that called for logic, this was it. A sea before…
The WhatsApp War..!
Every morning, as the sun peeps over our confused democracy, a silent war begins. Not at our borders, not in Parliament, but in the palm of your hand — yes, that unassuming rectangle known as your smartphone. While I sip my coffee and reach for my newspapers, elsewhere, warriors have…
Say Cheers to Our New Leaves..!
The peepul tree that towers over my house and garden had been shedding its leaves with a reckless abandon only nature can afford. For days, I watched, sipping my morning coffee, as the once-proud canopy thinned into a gaunt skeleton, each bare branch waving forlornly in the breeze. It was…
Robert Clements is a newspaper columnist and writes a daily column, which has graced the pages of over 60 newspapers and magazines, from a daily column in the Khaleej Times, Dubai, the Morning Star, London, and in nearly every state in India, from The Statesman in Kolkata, to the Kashmir Times in Kashmir to the Trinity Mirror in Chennai.