Choral singing has a habit of opening doors in the most unexpected places. Sometimes it opens the door of a concert hall. Sometimes it opens the door of a church. And sometimes, as I discovered in Chicago, it opens the door of your own rather oversized ego. I saw an…
Robert Clements is a journalist and newspaper columnist. With an estimated 6 million readership, his column, Bob’s Banter is published in over 30 newspapers and magazines in nearly every state in India, as well as in the top newspapers of Bangladesh, London and Dubai and is also translated into Hindi, Punjabi and Urdu.
The New Cockroach Spray..!
The White Bearded Chief and his deputy, the Bald Round Head, walked solemnly towards the edge of the village. “We have a serious problem,” whispered the Chief. “I know,” said the Deputy. “Your latest talk to the nation had hardly any listeners. Heard you are blaming the teleprompter!” “Not that…
March on dear Antinationals..!
“Oh dear,” I whispered as the news came in, “the antinationals have won!” A gentleman sitting beside me nearly dropped his teacup. “Which border have they crossed?” he asked. “Should I hide under the bed? Should I forward patriotic messages on WhatsApp?” “No,” I said. “It is much worse. The…
Paying for Their Misdeeds…!
Many years ago, as a youngster, I watched a powerful priest praying in church. His eyes were closed. His hands were raised. His voice trembled with devotion. Anyone watching him would have imagined that heaven had reserved a special seat for him. But many of us knew another story. Church…
When I Is Enough For Me..!
My neighbour bought a robot vacuum cleaner. “It cleans the house all by itself,” he announced proudly. The next week he bought a robot lawn mower. The week after that he proudly displayed a smart refrigerator that ordered groceries without speaking to a soul. A month later I asked him,…
Why Us? Roared the Lion..!
I visited the Lincoln Zoo in the US today. As I was walking past the cages, I heard a voice, “Indian, are you?” I stopped. The lion was looking straight at me through the thick glass of his enclosure. “Yes,” I replied proudly. He looked at the lioness beside him…
Refusing to Remove Your Cataract..!
Have we all gone blind? Or is it only our young people whose eyes are still open? As students pour onto the streets in protest, we should begin asking what they are seeing that we have chosen to ignore. Since 2014, India has witnessed more than 150 examination paper leaks….
Handling our Youth in Jantar Mantar..!
Every parent knows there comes a moment when raising your voice no longer works. The child grows taller, develops opinions, discovers Google, and suddenly your famous line, “Because I said so,” loses all its magical powers. Unfortunately, some governments never graduate from parenthood. Watching the young protesters gathering at Jantar…
Forcibly Removed from Fasting..!
When news emerged that Sonam Wangchuk, had allegedly been taken forcibly to hospital after his prolonged hunger strike, I found myself reflecting on a strange contradiction in our country, You may go hungry because you have no job. You may stand in ration queues. You may wonder whether your next…
Plead My Cause..!
Whenever people feel cornered, they immediately begin searching for someone powerful to stand up for them. A political party. A famous lawyer. A celebrity. A wealthy businessman. Someone who can speak louder than their opponents. It is rather like the little boy who, after being bullied in school, ran home…
Robert Clements is a newspaper columnist and writes a daily column, which has graced the pages of over 60 newspapers and magazines, from a daily column in the Khaleej Times, Dubai, the Morning Star, London, and in nearly every state in India, from The Statesman in Kolkata, to the Kashmir Times in Kashmir to the Trinity Mirror in Chennai.