“Yes,” said the businessman. “So it is confirmed?” I asked. “Yes,” he repeated. “Absolutely certain?” “Of course.” “Can I depend on your word?” He looked offended. “What do you think I am?” I did not answer. I waited three days and discovered what he was. His yes had meant– perhaps….
Robert Clements is a journalist and newspaper columnist. With an estimated 6 million readership, his column, Bob’s Banter is published in over 30 newspapers and magazines in nearly every state in India, as well as in the top newspapers of Bangladesh, London and Dubai and is also translated into Hindi, Punjabi and Urdu.
Pilot on a High..!
An Air India aircraft dropped nearly three hundred feet during a flight from Phuket to Delhi, and the captain later reportedly tested positive for marijuana. The passengers were terrified. Several were injured. The airline was embarrassed. But nobody seemed concerned about the marijuana seller. I believe the pilot and the…
Carry Your Mountain to the Valley…!
As I sit atop the Poconos Mountains, surrounded by tall trees, quiet paths and a little brook that seems to whisper rather than speak, I feel a peace that I wish I could pack into my suitcase. Perhaps I could fold it carefully between two shirts, place happiness beside my…
The Girl at the Signal..!
“Ten rupees,” said the man. “Twenty, sir,” said the little girl. “Ten!” he shouted, waving the small plastic flag in her face as though he had already conquered another foreign power. The child stood barefoot at the traffic signal. Her dress was faded, her hair untidy, and a bundle of…
Free for Just One Day..!
“Happy Independence Day!” shouted my neighbour as he hoisted the national flag. “Thank you,” I said. “Does that mean I am free?” “Of course!” he replied proudly. “This is a free country.” “So I may disagree with you?” His smile disappeared. “Why do you want to spoil Independence Day?” he…
Listen to the Brook..!
Within my daughter’s property in the Pocono Mountains flows a tiny brook. It is not one of those grand rivers that announces itself from a distance. It does not roar, crash against rocks, or demand that tourists photograph it. It simply slips quietly through the woods, content to flow without…
The Government Wants to ‘Friend’ Me..!
“Yesterday, the police chased me with a baton. Today, the government sent me a friendship request.” The young student stared suspiciously at his phone. “Should I accept it?” he asked. “Certainly,” I said. “Maybe tomorrow the policeman’s lathi will start following you on Instagram.” Apparently, after widespread Gen Z protests,…
My Lost Spectacles…!
“Has anyone seen my spectacles?” I shouted. My wife looked up from her book, started strangely at me, then asked with a smile, “Where do you thing you left them?” “If I knew where I had left them,” I said with considerable dignity, “I would not be asking where they…
Confident Leader or Clever Actor..!
“Makeup!” The leader sits before the mirror while an assistant powders his face. “Chest out, sir,” whispered another. The leader tries to push his chest forward. “Sir, a little more, it looks 36, not 56 inches” “Chin up, sir.” The chin rises. “Now look grim, as though you have just…
Where the Real Head Table Is..!
How we love sitting at the Head Table! I decided to walk over and interview one. “Hi!” I said. “Sit!” ordered the Head Table. “Make yourself comfortable. There is a waiter at the back who will bring you juice or anything stronger!” “But isn’t this a teetotaller crowd?” I asked….
Robert Clements is a newspaper columnist and writes a daily column, which has graced the pages of over 60 newspapers and magazines, from a daily column in the Khaleej Times, Dubai, the Morning Star, London, and in nearly every state in India, from The Statesman in Kolkata, to the Kashmir Times in Kashmir to the Trinity Mirror in Chennai.