A couple of my serious friends have been calling me and saying, “Bob you’ve been writing too much banter lately, what about a serious article?”

“Like what?” I ask

“Something churchy?”

“Okay friends I’ll oblige, here’s something churchy for you”:

In the days when you couldn’t count on a public toilet facility, an English woman was planning a trip to India. She was registered to stay in a small guesthouse owned by the local schoolmaster. She was concerned as to whether the guesthouse contained a WC. In England, a bathroom is commonly called a WC, which stands for “Water Closet”.

She wrote to the schoolmaster inquiring the facilities about the WC. The schoolmaster, not fluent in English, asked the local priest if he knew the meaning of WC. Together they pondered possible meanings of the letters and concluded that the lady being a Christian wanted to know if there was a “Wayside Chapel” near the house . . a bathroom never entered their minds. So the schoolmaster wrote the following reply:

Dear Madam,

I take great pleasure in informing you that the WC is located 9 miles from the house. It is located in the middle of a grove of pine trees, surrounded by lovely grounds. It is capable of holding 229 people and is open on Sundays and Thursdays. As there are many people expected in the summer months, I suggest you arrive early. There is, however, plenty of standing room.

This is an unfortunate situation especially if you are in the habit of going regularly. It may be of some interest to you that my daughter was married in the WC, as it was there she met her husband. It was a wonderful event. There were 10 people in every seat. It was wonderful to see the expressions on their faces.

My wife, sadly, has been ill and unable to go recently. It has been almost a year since she went last, which pains her greatly. You will be pleased to know that many people bring their lunch and make a day of it. Others prefer to wait till the last minute and arrive just in time! I would recommend your ladyship plan to go on a Thursday as there is an organ accompaniment. The acoustics are excellent and even the most delicate sounds can be heard everywhere.

The newest addition is a bell, which rings every time a person enters. We are holding a bazaar to provide plush seats for all since many feel it is long needed. I look forward to escorting you there myself, and seating you in a place where you can be seen by all.

With deepest regards,

The Schoolmaster

When this article was published in the Khaleej Times, Dubai, the mother of the owner of the paper rang me up to say, she nearly laughed her head off. I hope it brings a smile to you today..!

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