The government has now announced a high-level committee to scientifically examine demographic changes in the country. The committee is headed by a retired judge, which means somewhere in Delhi, a gentleman who was probably hoping for peaceful mornings with tea and crossword puzzles is now preparing to investigate who moved into which colony and why.

The newspapers said the committee will “scientifically examine the nature, causes and impact” of demographic changes.

Scientifically.

Now whenever politicians use the word “scientifically,” I become nervous. Especially in a country where people still argue on television about whether plastic surgery existed during the Mahabharata and whether ancient India had WiFi during the Vedic age.

But let us come to the main point.

What exactly are demographic changes?

After removing all the frightening words and serious expressions, it simply means people of one community moving into areas where other communities lived earlier.

That is all.

Now I checked something called the Constitution of India. Very dangerous hobby nowadays. According to that old fashioned document, Indians are allowed to live anywhere in India.

So if a family from Kerala moves to Gujarat, that is allowed.

If a family from Bihar settles in Mumbai, that is allowed.

If a Sikh moves into a Christian neighbourhood, or a Muslim buys a flat in a Hindu colony, or a Hindu shifts into an area previously dominated by another religion, that too is allowed.

They are Indians.

Not aliens from Mars carrying laser guns and suspicious vegetables.

Then comes the other fear. Conversion.

But even changing religion is legally permitted in this country, provided it is not forced. Which means an adult citizen still has the right to decide what he or she wishes to believe.

So one wonders what exactly this committee is investigating.

The retired judge, if he is fully retired in mind and spirit, may quietly clear his throat and say, “Excuse me gentlemen, but are we investigating something perfectly legal?”

But perhaps that would spoil the excitement.

You see, fear is very useful before elections. Nothing energises politics more than making citizens stare suspiciously at neighbours who have lived peacefully beside them for twenty years.

Suddenly somebody says, “Look carefully. Their numbers are increasing!”

The other fellow gasps dramatically and drops his samosa.

Meanwhile the price of petrol rises so fast that even auto rickshaws now sound emotionally hurt when starting. Tomatoes behave like luxury jewellery. Gas cylinders are treated with the respect earlier reserved for family heirlooms.

But instead of discussing jobs, food prices, schools, hospitals or fuel, we are discussing where Indians are living.

Maybe what we really need is a sitting judge enquiring why a retired judge is spending precious public money creating fear over something perfectly legal…!

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