The Trust Factor in Negotiations..!

Was intrigued the other day to hear that someone was going to speak on how to negotiate to win. I decided to attend: The speaker was articulate, but as he went on, I realized his methods involved using a clever head and not a compassionate heart.

As I listened, I found that people were just ‘pawns on a chessboard’, and that’s exactly what I see today in most deals, where strategy or cunning is used through guile to control situations, both in business and elsewhere.

It’s like we’re all sheep, misled with expertly woven lassos expertly used by cowboys to herd us into a pen. Feelings don’t matter, friendships are just meant to be exploited! The aim, to control the mind with clever formulas.

Let’s get back to the speaker: He’s speaking of a ‘negotiating situation’, and let’s pretend, you’ve crept into the hall with me, “A man,” he says, ‘wants to sell his old car. He knows it’s not worth more than fifty thousand rupees, but decides he’ll put an ad asking for fifty-five thousand! Just before he places that ad, a close friend approaches him, and says he’s heard the car is for sale, and would like to buy it for sixty-five thousand!”

I listened with quickened interest, as he gave the options to us in the hall, “You can,” said the speaker, “Tell your friend, to wait for the ad, or accept the price your friend offers, or haggle over the price!”

I wondered whether the word, ‘haggle’ meant to tell his friend that it was too high a price he’d offered and that the car was worth much less, and was initially happy when the speaker mentioned that ‘haggling’ was the correct answer. But, in a moment my happiness turned to shock, “Haggling,” he said, “is telling your friend that his offer of sixty-five thousand is too low, and instead that seventy-thousand is what you were expecting! Then you put your arms around his shoulder and tell him, that because he’s a friend, you’ll settle for sixty-nine thousand!”

“Finally,” said the speaker, speaking on how to negotiate, “You can settle for sixty-eight thousand!”

I watched with sadness the clever art of deceptive negotiation being taught to innocent people!

Didn’t the esteemed speaker realize it was not negotiation about the price for a car but about the value of friendship? That what was at stake was truth, and what had been sold was integrity?

I know, if I was selling an old car of mine, I would be all the more careful to see a friend was warned it was old, and that I would even lower the price, to include the risks of breakdowns or worn out parts because I valued his or her friendship more than profits I’d get.

Let us negotiate without compromising on integrity, because no amount of negotiations later will bring back the trust we lose..!


Would love to hear from you in the COMMENTS section below…and IF YOU WANT TO RECEIVE BOB’S BANTER EVERYDAY, PLEASE SEND YOUR NAME AND WHATSAPP PHONE NO TO [email protected]


…Get trained to write powerfully by the author, whose article you just read! Don’t wait! Send a thumbs up for details to 9892572883 and let Robert Clements train you in his easy and comfortable way Let the power of WORDS spoken and written effectively and forcefully, change your life! Join the Writer’s and Speaker’s Course, June Batch TODAY! Send a thumbsup to 9892572883 now! –

8 thoughts on “The Trust Factor in Negotiations..!”

  1. Very True and aptly said Uncle for the scenario of selling to friend of a personal thing which belongs to seller.

    It’s more depends on larger picture in case that sale is going to affect multiple people directly or indirectly.

  2. Totally agree with you Bob. When we speak of Win Win we can’t make a person lose.

    The way I understand we can either be Masters in communication or Manipulators. Note: Negotiations is part of communication.

    Manipulating is what the west (particularly the US based organisations and individuals practice). Get the best deal (for self) at any cost. They are not into relationship building but deal based negotiations.

    The other option is Mastery. In mastery you (a) Understand the other person (b) Prioritise their needs and your own and (c) Play Win Win (you can’t play win win till you understand what they wish to win and their priorities.

    Now, manipulators win initially but long run they lose as they get caught out and exposed. It’s like the discussion on Givers, Takers and Matchers. Masters in communication (and negotiations) win long term.

    Jimmy John could have manipulated about the CC TV today and got me to change a part or the whole unit. He would win short term. Having won my trust (and testimonial) he will win long term.

    BTW despite Jimmy insisting on NO CHARGE I paid a fee to his person as I can’t win and make them lose.

    Vincent to me comes across as a master in communication and I’m sure he would not manipulate in life. What’s possible is the advice was based as how the top US negotiator (I can’t recall the name shared by Vincent) would do things and not how Vincent would.

  3. Thank you Bobby for the value you place on a friend Money must definitely take a backseat when a friend’s buying your car. Honesty is a priority in friendship. Out of love for a friend,we’ll be naturally, honest with him.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *