Had dinner with a retired government deputy secretary last night and as we spoke about his years in service, I decided to ask him a question that many powerful people quietly dread. I leaned forward and asked how it felt not having any power after retirement. For a moment he looked at me with a kindness that comes only from having seen life from both sides of the desk. Then he chuckled, not with any bitterness or regret, but with the calm satisfaction of a man who has understood something many in high office never do.

He told me that all the years he was on the seat he reminded himself every single day that it was the seat that people respected and bowed to and not the man sitting on it. He told himself this when cars stopped for him, when people stood up at meetings, when invitations flooded his home, and when his phone rang endlessly with voices that sounded sweeter than honey. He knew that each greeting, each salute, and each respectful nod was meant for the position and not for him. And he said that this single thought helped him after he retired.

As he spoke, I realised what wisdom lay in those simple words. Imagine how much heartache we would avoid if our powerful leaders understood this. Imagine how many tempers would be controlled and how many egos would shrink to normal size if they remembered that the awe they receive is only borrowed from the chair they occupy. The chair has authority. The chair has reach. The chair has importance. The man merely occupies it for a short while.

Look around and you will see the opposite everywhere. People in power begin to believe that they are the power. They think the respect they receive is because of their brilliance, their charm, or their personality. They forget that if the chair is taken away, the crowd melts faster than ice in summer. The phone stops ringing. The endless visitors disappear. The gates outside their home no longer see long lines of anxious supplicants. Suddenly they are alone and the silence is shocking because they mistook position for affection.

I wish more of our leaders, officials, and chair holders understood this truth. The true measure of a person begins after the last day in office. That is when you see whether people still come to meet you, still value your opinion, still greet you with warmth, and still feel you have something to offer. That is the moment when the man or woman is separated from the chair.

As the retired deputy secretary finished speaking, he smiled again and said that life after retirement was peaceful because he had never confused the chair with the man. That wisdom allowed him to walk away with dignity instead of disappointment. And perhaps that is the greatest power of all…!

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