“Lovely weather we’re having, isn’t it?”
There you go — I’ve just started a conversation that would have gone down well two decades ago. Today, if you try that line, the fellow beside you will either whip out his phone, pretend he’s late for a Zoom call, or worse, check the weather app to correct you: “Actually, the humidity index says otherwise.”
Ah, small talk — that delicate social dance where no one really says anything, but somehow both leave feeling pleasantly human. Once upon a time, it was the oil that kept society’s rusty hinges from creaking too loudly. “How are you?” never really asked for a medical report; “What’s new?” wasn’t a request for your CV. It was just a way of saying, “Hello, fellow human. I see you. I acknowledge you. Now, let’s talk about the clouds.”
But somewhere between WhatsApp forwards and AI chatbots, we lost the charm. Efficiency killed it. Our lives became specifics – Why waste time discussing the neighbour’s cat when we could be sending a ten-second voice note that conveys precisely nothing but sounds urgent?
And yet, deep down, don’t we miss it? That awkward conversation in the lift where you discussed cricket scores with a stranger, both staring fiercely at the floor numbers as if eye contact was punishable. Or that bus queue where you commented on the price of tomatoes, and suddenly five people bonded like they’d discovered a new political party: “The Anti-Tomato-Price Hike Front!”
Small talk wasn’t about the words. It was about the warmth. It was about reminding ourselves that life isn’t just big speeches, breaking news, or bold declarations. It’s also about chuckling with the milkman about his cow refusing to wake up at dawn. It’s about the auto driver telling you traffic is bad, as if that wasn’t already the biggest news of the century.
I remember once, waiting at an airport lounge, a fellow passenger leaned over and whispered, “I hope the flight isn’t delayed.” We weren’t discussing geopolitics or rocket science, but that was the start of a beautiful thirty-minute friendship that ended only when boarding was announced.
You can’t get that on Twitter. On social media, every conversation has to be profound, political, or perfectly crafted. But in small talk, you could be gloriously ordinary. You didn’t need to fact-check yourself before saying, “It might rain today.” Nobody demanded footnotes, graphs, or satellite images. You just… said it. And if it didn’t rain, both of you laughed, not trolled each other.
So maybe it’s time to bring it back. Next time you’re in a lift, instead of staring at your phone, try a simple, “Tough day huh?” At worst, you’ll be ignored. At best, you’ll share a smile, a sigh, maybe even a cup of tea someday.
Because the truth is this: small talk was never small. It was the glue that kept us human, long before emojis are trying so hard to do the same job!
And if there’s no one to talk to, talk to the One above-I do it, all the time-‘Great day Lord, thanks for it..!’
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Robert Clements is a newspaper columnist and writes a daily column, which has graced the pages of over 60 newspapers and magazines, from a daily column in the Khaleej Times, Dubai, the Morning Star, London, and in nearly every state in India, from The Statesman in Kolkata, to the Kashmir Times in Kashmir to the Trinity Mirror in Chennai.
Small talk is the thread in the fabric of daily life and without it, the whole weave starts to unravel, and life loses its charm.
So poignant and true! The lost art of small talk is perhaps why we are becoming a lonelier society despite being digitally hyper-connected at all times! Thank you this reminder! 😊
Nothing ” ordinary ” about this warm and pleasantly penned article!
I can relate because I do this often, even at the risk of being thought silly or worse.
It lightens burdens and makes us realise that we are all part of ” humanity.” And if we are lucky, we sometimes make a connection for life!