My daughter had sent me this lovely, revealing article by Seth Adam Smith, a part of which I’d like to share with you today:
“Having been married only a year and a half, I’ve recently come to the conclusion that marriage isn’t for me. Now before you start making assumptions, keep reading.
I met my wife in high school when we were 15 years old. We were friends for ten years until…until we decided we no longer wanted to be just friends. 🙂 I strongly recommend that best friends fall in love. Good times will be had by all.
Nevertheless, falling in love with my best friend did not prevent me from having certain fears and anxieties about getting married. The nearer Kim and I approached the decision to marry, the more I was filled with a paralyzing fear. Was I ready? Was I making the right choice? Was Kim the right person to marry? Would she make me happy?
Then, one fateful night, I shared these thoughts and concerns with my dad.
My dad with a knowing smile said, “Seth, you’re being totally selfish. So I’m going to make this really simple: marriage isn’t for you. You don’t marry to make yourself happy, you marry to make someone else happy. More than that, your marriage isn’t for yourself, you’re marrying for a family. Not just for the in-laws and all of that nonsense, but for your future children. Who do you want to help you raise them? Who do you want to influence them? Marriage isn’t for you. It’s not about you. Marriage is about the person you married.”
It was in that very moment that I knew that Kim was the right person to marry. I realized that I wanted to make her happy; to see her smile every day, to make her laugh every day. I wanted to be a part of her family, and my family wanted her to be a part of ours. And thinking back on all the times I had seen her play with my nieces, I knew that she was the one with whom I wanted to build our own family.
My father’s advice was both shocking and revelatory. It went against the grain of today’s “Walmart philosophy”, which is if it doesn’t make you happy, you can take it back and get a new one.
No, a true marriage (and true love) is never about you. It’s about the person you love—their wants, their needs, their hopes, and their dreams. Selfishness demands, “What’s in it for me?”, while Love asks, “What can I give?”
Quite an eye opener isn’t it? Maybe as we wait out this lockdown, we need to say to ourselves, “Marriage is not for me…It’s for the person I married!”
And come out of this lockdown, and live happily ever after..!
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12 thoughts on “Marriage Is NOT For Me..!”
Excellent & true write up to all young adults of the new generation. Thanks Bob for sharing. It even applies to those who are married for years and living a loveless life.
One of Bob’s best yet (thanks to his daughter, apparently!!) Nothing like true love to keep one soaring through life! All else follows.
Wow..!! Thanks for sharing this Bobby.
Interesting, an eye opener? Yah thank you Bob! ??
Thank you Bobby for this. Very few of us have this view point.
Great article. “What is in it for me” is the typical modern age syndrome responsible for many break ups.
Good eye opener for all!Whether newly married or going on in years..wisdom to be learnt and followed! God bless!
Expect nothing, give everything.
If we have fears and doubts before marriage..no point in marrying and making some innocent persons life a living hell..then the whole family too suffers..it should not be ‘what cannot be cured must be endured’.
Awesome write up bob
Thank you for blessing me with this beautiful article.I will share it with my child who is to be married and children who prayed and found godly partners, by God’s grace.God bless you
Wonderful encourage words
Haaha soon to say I do