Classes for Riots and Agitations..!

With debates, speeches and convincing arguments slowly losing their appeal among Parliamentarians and State assemblies, and fists, stones and riots taking over, youngsters realize new skills need to be learnt and coaching classes which always rise to such occasions are thinking of rising to the occasion!
“This course,” said the proprietor of a coaching institute in Delhi, “will equip students to agitate and get maximum exposure. Here, meet our first instructor.”
“Good morning!” said the instructor as he put out his hand then suddenly ducked while a policeman on a bicycle cycled past.
“He is wanted by the police,” said the coaching class owner proudly.
“For what?” I asked surprised.
“For assault and goondaism!” said the owner of the classes, “we knew he would be the right person to teach students the art of throwing stones.”
“Is it an art?” I asked, “or an offence?”
“Aha!” said the owner, “He shows students how to throw stones only when a policeman raises his lathi and a camera man is taking a shot, that way the public will think it is retaliation against police brutality!”
“Interesting!” I said.
“And who is this?” I asked looking at a woman who had just come by with torn clothes on, “looks like she’s been through a scuffle.”
“She is being kept for women students.”
“What does she teach?”
“How to rip your sari or tear your clothes when being led to the police station!”
“Why would anyone want to do that?” I asked perplexed.
“How else can you accuse the cops of molestation?”
“I can even show you how to inflict nail and bite injuries on yourself!” said the teacher proudly coming towards me.
“I’m sure you can,” I whispered fearfully as I moved away. “Are there other instructors?”
“Of course! It’s a very professional course,” said the owner, “we have tutors who teach students what to wear during a strike; wear a lab coat and you will get immediate public sympathy as doctors always have public appeal! Also, we have makeup artists who tell them how to put instant red blood marks all over before cameras click you. We also have …”
“One minute,” I interrupted, “don’t you have teachers who teach your students to speak better, how to debate and convince others?”
“Sir, when did we ever use those methods in our country?” asked the coaching class owner, looking puzzled “We only enhance the skills of what’s already being done or taught here! Are you a journalist sir?”
“Yes!” I admitted.
“Then we can teach you what bribes to pay for good treatment and better food sir!”
“Pay where?” I asked weakly.
“Inside jail, if they book you for sedition!” said the coaching class owner, “We coach to meet present requirements sir..!”


Would love to hear from you in the COMMENTS section below…and IF YOU WANT TO RECEIVE BOB’S BANTER EVERYDAY, PLEASE SEND YOUR NAME AND WHATSAPP PHONE NO TO [email protected]

…Get trained by the very person whose article you just read! Don’t wait! Send a thumbs up for details to 9892572883 and let Robert Clements train you in his easy and comfortable way Let the power of WORDS spoken and written effectively and forcefully, change your life! Join the Writer’s and Speaker’s Course, September Batch TODAY! Send a thumbsup to 9892572883 now!

8 thoughts on “Classes for Riots and Agitations..!”

  1. Thank you Bob for highlighting through satire the awful and sad mindset that prevails today Is this the kind of freedom our freedom fighters fought for giving up their lives? We must pray for a transformation of mind and heart and we in our own way must strive to stand-out and differentiate ourselves from the crowd

  2. When frequent pleas of the marginalised repeatedly fall on deaf ears, most resort to violence.
    As Martin Luther King, Jr. has rightly said…..
    “A riot is the language of the unheard !”
    But, when people turn unruly and riot, they vandalise their own neighborhood not realising that they are destroying their own amenities .

  3. Thank you so much Bobby for the satire so boldly and truthfully written.A chuckle helps us swallow the bitter cup of sorrow our corrupt govt. hands us after lying brazenly about acche din promised to gain power.

  4. A brilliant expose on the disastrous state of our democratic right to dissent.
    The unscrupulous means used by politicians to subvert these procedures are superbly highlighted by your satirical article

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *