I have discovered a new species of human being. The Forwarding Genius. He wakes up in the morning, brushes his teeth with one hand, and forwards messages with the other. By the time he has had his first cup of tea, he has already solved world peace, exposed three political…
Robert Clements is a journalist and newspaper columnist. With an estimated 6 million readership, his column, Bob’s Banter is published in over 30 newspapers and magazines in nearly every state in India, as well as in the top newspapers of Bangladesh, London and Dubai and is also translated into Hindi, Punjabi and Urdu.
Are You His Masterpiece?
The other day I was walking past a shop window and noticed a mannequin standing there with more confidence than most politicians I have seen. Chin up, shoulders back, dressed better than the average wedding guest. People stopped. Stared. Some admired. And one fellow even adjusted his own shirt as…
Only Custodians, Not Owners..!
Many years ago, sitting in a charming little café perched like a contented cat atop Malabar Hill, my wife and I made one of the wisest decisions of our lives. We decided to get married. The café, quite naturally, took full credit for this life altering moment. Every year thereafter,…
Losing Your Power to Analyse..!
Yesterday I attended a meeting in my society to discuss the feasibility report with a firm, which in Mumbai is not just a project, but an emotional rollercoaster with blueprints. There were long discussions, with an engineer explaining with great seriousness how the old building would give way to a…
Deadly Bird Fight..!
For years my morning coffee, I have in my garden, has come with a peaceful audience. Crows, mynahs, pigeons. Sparrows, and once I counted, eight varieties of birds that gather at my feet, waiting with remarkable discipline for the birdfeed I scatter. No arguments, no shouting, just quiet coexistence. And…
I Messed Up..!
The rarest words in the English language are not “income tax refund” or “let’s talk peace.” They are three simple, honest, terrifying words, “I messed up.” Two days ago after that shocking collision at La Guardia in New York, an air traffic controller reportedly admitted, “I messed up.” No legal…
The Great Indian Head-Nod…!
Yesterday I went to a party where the organiser, a lady, introduced a game. If she said yes, the participants had to shake their heads in no. If she said no, they had to shake yes. Within minutes, people were nodding, shaking, reversing, hesitating, and collapsing into laughter. I laughed…
Wicked..!
I spent an astronomical sum two evenings ago to watch Wicked the Musical, at that grand Ambani theatre in Bandra, where even the chairs seem to have better posture than the audience. I walked in as a storyteller, expecting a powerful narrative that would grip my heart, twist my emotions,…
Prime Minister Daniel..!
Just imagine, in the middle of today’s Israeli-Iran war, reading from the scriptures, that once upon a time an Israeli slave became the chief administrator, or prime minister in what we now call Iran. Not a consultant. Not an advisor. A slave. And yet, running the empire! Enter the Jewish…
Leakage in a Flat..!
In a Bombay housing society, nothing unites people faster than a leakage. Not festivals, not elections, not even free samosas at the AGM. But one drop from the ceiling and suddenly the entire building becomes emotionally, technically, and spiritually involved. It begins innocently. A faint patch appears on the ceiling….
Robert Clements is a newspaper columnist and writes a daily column, which has graced the pages of over 60 newspapers and magazines, from a daily column in the Khaleej Times, Dubai, the Morning Star, London, and in nearly every state in India, from The Statesman in Kolkata, to the Kashmir Times in Kashmir to the Trinity Mirror in Chennai.