Sometime before the lockdown I had been invited by an organization to deliver the keynote address at a church. My driver drove me to the location but as he parked, we saw a watchman waving frantically and advancing threateningly towards us, “Don’t park inside!” he shouted, “It is only for…
Robert Clements is a journalist and newspaper columnist. With an estimated 6 million readership, his column, Bob’s Banter is published in over 30 newspapers and magazines in nearly every state in India, as well as in the top newspapers of Bangladesh, London and Dubai and is also translated into Hindi, Punjabi and Urdu.
Growing Old..!
It was just the other day while shopping with my daughter, I noticed I was paying more attention to the pavement I was walking on than the display in the shop windows. I wondered for a moment and realized I was so scared of slipping on the uneven tiles that…
A Finishing School For Men..!
“A finishing school for men?, “I asked the owner of the school, “I have never heard of anything so strange.” “And why not?” asked the owner, as he directed a painter to give finishing touches to the board outside, “if our women can win beauty contests at the world level,…
Baby Trump Throws a Tantrum..!
And as Trump, hees and haws about letting go of the presidency, Liberty, the statue calls out to him, “Baby Donny, now give your toy white house to Joe, you’ve had four full years of living there!” “No, I won’t! See I’m younger than he is, and tougher. Look at…
Passing the Airhostess at Work..!
A nightmare faced by air hostesses quite often, other than hijacks and terrorist attacks are people who want to walk past the food trolley to the toilet when food is being served. I was talking to Anne a pretty young flight steward, and she swore people did it on purpose…
Let’s Produce Harmony..!
’Twas just three years ago, seventy-three voices, including mine, and an orchestra of thirty-one raised their voices, violins, violas, cellos, oboes, clarinets, bassoons, french horns, trumpets, trombones, and a timpani, making glorious music! There must have been a smile on Mozart’s face somewhere in the heavens as he heard Indians…
If Shoes Could Speak..!
Mine did, just now! “What’s happening?” asked my dusty brown pair of shoes, now looking almost black after lying unused for the last eight months or so, “We used to be your source of pride! You even got a family member to bring special polish from New York, for us…
That Night of Terror..!
As I read about the beheading and terrorist sponsored deaths in France, my mind goes to that Night of Terror in the city twelve years ago, when I was just a few feet away as hundreds died! The Press Club in Mumbai where I was spending that evening and finally…
A Letter From God..!
My friend Subbiah sent me this lovely little piece some time ago, which you’ve just got to read: It seemed the dove that came in through my bedroom window had a note for me in its beak. It gently allowed the paper to fall onto my bed and flew away….
Staying On in the White House..!
Suddenly many Americans are scared. “Trump won’t leave the White House!” they say, “even if he loses!” It doesn’t help that visitors standing outside the monumental presidential home in Washington imagine all sorts of suspicious activity. “We saw Trump looking from the windows!” said a visitor. “What’s wrong with that?”…
Robert Clements is a newspaper columnist and writes a daily column, which has graced the pages of over 60 newspapers and magazines, from a daily column in the Khaleej Times, Dubai, the Morning Star, London, and in nearly every state in India, from The Statesman in Kolkata, to the Kashmir Times in Kashmir to the Trinity Mirror in Chennai.