It was on one of these Zoom calls that this pretty friend asked, “What’s with the beard Bob?”
“I’ve always had a beard!” I replied quickly.
“True, but you’re suddenly growing it longer!”
“So that you will start believing in me!” I said a little angrily.
“You mean you’re growing the beard to influence me?” asked my pretty friend.
“Well,” I said, “Desperate times require desperate measures! I’ve been writing articles for you to read, advising you for the last few months, and you don’t seem to be listening to me, so I decided on the beard!”
“You think I’ll believe you more, with a longer beard?”
“Aren’t you?” I asked, “What do I look like now?”
“Certainly not a journalist,” she said, “You look more like a saint!”
“Aha, and you do believe in what saints tell you, don’t you?”
“Yes,” she admitted, “that’s certainly true!”
“In fact,” I said, “there are a couple of gurujis now available for their talks on video, whose every word is being lapped up, and do you know what is working?”
“Their beard!” said my friend with a giggle.
“Yes,” I said, “If you had seen them without a beard, and I have some pics of them without one, let me tell you, you wouldn’t have given them a second glance, leave alone, listening to them!”
“So, it’s all in the beard!” pondered my friend.
“No, not just a beard!”
“A long one!” she said.
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“Yes,” I said, “and a white one! That shows wisdom, knowledge, patience and long suffering!”
“But yours is not fully white Bob?” she asked, and I was quite happy to realize that people as young as she, scrutinized me so well, “You have a lot of black in your white?”
“It’s just a matter of days!” I said.
“They’ll grow white?” she asked.
“No, my Amazon delivery will come!” I said, “And the white hair spray I’ve ordered will arrive!”
“You’ll look every bit a priest then,” she said, “Like a sanyasi!”
“That’s the idea!” I said, “I want people to stop taking me lightly, and to believe every word I say. I want people to think I am a holy and upright man, who is concerned about them. I want people…”
“Stop, stop!” cried my pretty friend, “You mean to say, you can achieve all this by throwing your razor and scissors away, and with a can of white dye?”
“Well,” I said with a clever smile, “You won’t even be asking me these questions once the Amazon man comes, you’ll just accept every word! See you next week!”
I waited for her to get off Zoom, then switched on the TV to see others like me, following my ‘believe in me’ method, “Mitron!” said a figure on my TV, “It is a good formula..!”
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