Today’s column is addressed more to youngsters than older folk: It starts with old people living quite comfortably in retirement receiving a letter from a son or daughter settled abroad, inviting them over for a holiday. “A holiday!” They both shout and start packing, though at the back of their heads they wonder if their locked home will be safe, who will look after their dogs or cats, their plants, and that most certainly they are going to miss their friends and maybe evenings at the club.
And so they go and come back disappointed, whispering, “We are just glorified nannies for our grandchildren!” they sniff.
I talked to a first timer who had heard his children wanted him in America:
“So what d’you plan to do in the States?” I asked the old man as he practiced walking round the house in a new pair of shorts he’d bought.
“Well my son said he’s going to take us to see the Niagara on his day off!”
“He’s always wanted to see the Niagara!” said his wife of many years as she shyly comes and stands next to him in jeans she’s getting used to.
“And then I’d like to visit Washington!”
“Abraham Lincoln has been my husband’s hero from his childhood!”
“My son knows that,” says the old man proudly, “and he’s promised to take me round to the Lincoln Memorial and even Ford Theatre where Abe was shot dead!”
“Don’t try to do what John Wilkes Booth did! Jumping from the balcony onto the stage!” laughed his wife
“Ah! We’re just waiting to get there!” said the old man patting down his shorts.
I wish them goodbye and after their house is bolted and locked, they come over to give me the key, “We might not come back!” they say, “but just open and air our place once in a while!”
They’re back in two months.
“How was Niagara and the Lincoln Memorial?” I ask.
“We didn’t see anything! We had to get up early every morning and husband dear would take the newspaper to the nursery and sit by the cradle till the baby wakes up!
“I couldn’t even rustle the papers for fear of waking the child!” said the old man rustling his newspapers furiously. “And if it woke too early the mite cried through the day! It’s nice to be back!”
“No babies!”
“No screaming children!”
“No rushing to meet the school bus!”
“No whipping them up breakfast, lunch, dinner and .”
“Snacks, snacks and snacks!”
“I don’t think you enjoyed being granny,” I said.
“I’m a granny not a nanny!” shouts the old lady and I watch as her husband stands defiantly by her..!
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Robert Clements is a newspaper columnist and writes a daily column, which has graced the pages of over 60 newspapers and magazines, from a daily column in the Khaleej Times, Dubai, the Morning Star, London, and in nearly every state in India, from The Statesman in Kolkata, to the Kashmir Times in Kashmir to the Trinity Mirror in Chennai.
Ah! How well you have expressed the experience most of the parents go through in their visit to children settled abroad, but the fact is that the poor kids go through without much help round the year, so we parents need to enjoy doing that little bit for the few months we stay there. It is a very dicey situation nevertheless.
I have many friends who have their children abroad, married with children. It goes like this – the son’s parents will be not invited but asked to be on duty for 6 months and so also the daughter-in-laws parents for the next 6 months. One of my friends who has got used to this for several years said we have been promoted to IAS cadre long back. I asked him how a bank officer could become an IAS Officer. He said it is Indian Aaya Service.
I find it a reality in most of the cases abroad. Parents are called for helping grand children and other home works. Children don’t have time to entertain their old parents. No doubt they are served with delicious food. Parents should go for little time and when they miss their country should be back. East or West Home is like a Heaven.
When my brother passed away,my dad took his baby to the bus that would take her to school, telling her to hold his fingers. He’d go to the bus stop when it was time to get her back again. When a baby disobeys, it’s hard for grandparents to discipline the baby. They’re faster than us besides. So to keep them safe from falling we feel we aren’t lithe enough to bend down