Ah, Lent is here again—the season where we gleefully declare we’re giving up chocolates, social media, or coffee, only to transform into grumpy saints counting down the days to Easter. It’s a bit like telling a child you’ll save their sweets for later— and they don’t just give up their…
Robert Clements is a journalist and newspaper columnist. With an estimated 6 million readership, his column, Bob’s Banter is published in over 30 newspapers and magazines in nearly every state in India, as well as in the top newspapers of Bangladesh, London and Dubai and is also translated into Hindi, Punjabi and Urdu.
Don’t Get Bothered Dear Politicians…!
Ah, dear politicians of India, why the long faces? Why the furrowed brows and pursed lips whenever a stand-up comedian cracks a joke or a satirist wields his pen? After all, you are the epitome of cleanliness, aren’t you? Squeaky clean, polished to a shine, so pristine that dirt would…
Helicopter Ride..!
Have you watched helicopters gliding effortlessly through the sky, their blades slicing through the air like a chef’s knife through butter. They hover, they soar, they dip gracefully—poetry in motion! From my comfortable perch on my terrace garden, I used to sigh with envy, thinking, “What a marvelous experience it…
Bulldozer Justice..!
The first time I saw a bulldozer, it was an awe-inspiring sight. A giant machine, powerful and imposing, tearing through mounds of earth with a mechanical efficiency that seemed almost hypnotic. It was a thing of purpose—used to build roads, clear debris, and shape landscapes. But lately, the bulldozer has…
A Judge, a Fire and a Storeroom of Cash… !
It must have been quite a fire. Not the kind that crackles merrily in a fireplace while you sip hot cocoa, or the one that children dance around on a crisp winter night. No, this was the kind of fire that doesn’t just burn wood or paper—it burns illusions. The…
Privatisation: A Tragic Trick..!
For a small amount you can travel all around the New York subway, and even use the same ticket for the connecting bus! Because public utilities are meant to serve you – government investments to help you work efficiently, make more money and pay some back to the city as…
One Day is a Lifetime Too Late..!
Justice B.R. Gavai, standing before the people of Manipur yesterday, spoke with the reassuring tone of a Supreme Court judge, “Have faith in our Constitution. The Constitution will ensure peace returns fully to Manipur one day.” Ah, the dreamlike quality of those words: One day! Not soon, not tomorrow, not next…
How to Become Tall..!
There was a friend of mine who was a good five-foot-nothing. A man with a Napoleon complex, always standing on tiptoes in photographs, buying elevator shoes, and stretching his neck like a giraffe hoping to look taller. “Why don’t you just stand next to shorter people?” I suggested helpfully. “There’s…
Say It When They’re Alive..!
It was old Mr. Vikram’s birthday and he was missing. Ria, his daughter searched their modest apartment, and even glanced down at the compound where the housing society members often gathered. But he was nowhere to be found. Then she remembered. Of course. The cemetery down the road. She walked…
Just a Game of Chess..!
To a few top world leaders, the world seems to have transformed into a giant chessboard. With a calculated move here and a strategic gambit there, they shuffle their pieces, believing they are masters of the game. One chessboard they play on is the international arena, while the other is…
Robert Clements is a newspaper columnist and writes a daily column, which has graced the pages of over 60 newspapers and magazines, from a daily column in the Khaleej Times, Dubai, the Morning Star, London, and in nearly every state in India, from The Statesman in Kolkata, to the Kashmir Times in Kashmir to the Trinity Mirror in Chennai.