It’s funny, isn’t it? You slip into your car, punch in an address, and the voice of a polite young lady—or sometimes a very stern one—tells you exactly how to get there. “Turn right in 200 meters,” she says, and like a well-trained schoolboy, you obey. You don’t argue. You…
Robert Clements is a journalist and newspaper columnist. With an estimated 6 million readership, his column, Bob’s Banter is published in over 30 newspapers and magazines in nearly every state in India, as well as in the top newspapers of Bangladesh, London and Dubai and is also translated into Hindi, Punjabi and Urdu.
Repair the House, Don’t Paint the Cracks..!
It’s always easier to live in a lie, isn’t it? Like the man who paints cracks in his walls the colour of ivory and tells his wife, “Look darling, the house looks brand new!” Until the monsoon comes, the roof caves in, and they both discover the lie is more…
The Bold and the Cowardly..!
There’s always a hush in the land when a bold voice speaks. A hush not of respect, but of secret admiration. “What guts!” whisper the listeners behind closed doors, phones tucked under bedsheets, curtains drawn tight. Then, just as quickly, silence. The applause is private, the cheer is hidden, and…
The Real ‘Sin’ in Sin Tax..!
So, the GST Council has decided to simplify our lives. Yes, you heard right—simplify! Out go the old four tax slabs, in come two: 5% and 18%. And for those who like their pleasures with a little indulgence—say, a cigar, a peg, or imported cheese—there’s a brand-new “sin and luxury”…
Rectifying India’s Bruised Ego..!
Ah, a billion or more of us have our cheeks swollen again! Not from a cricket ball hurled by a Pakistani fast bowler, but from the slap of Uncle Sam’s indifference. We lie bruised because the American administration—led by Trump, the dealmaker-in-chief—has not treated us with the reverence we’ve been…
When Playing Second Fiddle..!
I sometimes wonder if the violin named “second fiddle” ever felt insulted. After all, when the orchestra begins, the spotlight is never on him. It’s the first violin who soaks in the applause, while the poor second fiddle just sits there, bow in hand, looking like an unpaid extra in…
The Handsomest in the Room..!
I’ve always been fond of John. Short fellow, yes, but he somehow looked taller than most—on stage, in a crowd, even over a steaming cup of cutting chai. People said he wasn’t good-looking, but I’d seen enough pretty girls clinging to his arm to know otherwise. What he had was…
You’ll Never Run Out of Pebbles..!
For the last one month or so, I’ve watched my daughter’s little one tug at my sleeve with one simple request: “Grandpa, David and Goliath!” No, she wasn’t asking me to take her to Jerusalem to stand in some museum. She wanted me to play the video—again and again—on my…
The Alexandra Limp and Us..!
Have you heard of the “Alexandra Limp”? A curious bit of history, really. In the late 1860s, Queen Alexandra, wife of Edward VII, walked with a limp after illness. Soon, society ladies—perfectly healthy—decided to copy her. Out they went, wobbling down London streets, limping in step with their Queen. Now…
Dreading the ‘Retirement’ Word..!
Suddenly two old men in our country, reaching the age of seventy-five seem to be dreading giving up power and post. Retirement for the two has suddenly become the dreaded “R” word. They, who once thundered, “Everyone must make way for the young!” may soon be filing petitions for “extensions,”…
Robert Clements is a newspaper columnist and writes a daily column, which has graced the pages of over 60 newspapers and magazines, from a daily column in the Khaleej Times, Dubai, the Morning Star, London, and in nearly every state in India, from The Statesman in Kolkata, to the Kashmir Times in Kashmir to the Trinity Mirror in Chennai.