Somewhere between the EMI for your fridge and the EMI for your scooter, corrupt Gujarat government officers have added one more installment option—bribes!

Yes, in what could only be described as a jaw-dropping entry for the “You-Can’t-Make-This-Stuff-Up” awards, The Times of India reported that government officials in Ahmedabad are kindly offering their victims—oops, I mean “citizens”—the option to pay their bribes in installments. That’s right. No longer must you sell your grandmother’s jewelry in one go. Just swipe that card, and pay off your bribe over 12 easy monthly installments!

Flexi-pay for flexi-corruption.

Now, a headline like this should have shocked the country into a coma. But it didn’t. There was no outrage, no collective gasping in horror. Most of us sipped our chai, folded the paper, and said, “Chalo, at least they’re considerate enough to break it up.”

Why? Because we Indians have moved past the innocence of right and wrong. We now operate on the principle of “Don’t get caught.” If you get caught, well then shame on you—not for taking the bribe or lying—but for doing it so clumsily that you got caught. “Be smart next time,” we advise with the same tenderness usually reserved for exam results or cricket matches.

So today, truth is negotiable. Honesty is flexible. And ethics come with payment options.

Take, for example, a recent statement: “Only two died in the bridge collapse.” And then, a few brave souls with mobile phones and functioning consciences upload videos showing a dozen more. The damage isn’t just structural—it’s moral. Or remember when we were told no planes were lost in a recent skirmish, and a straightforward army chief said the truth in Singapore.

We’ve entered the age of Flexi-Life—where facts can be rearranged like furniture and values come with a warranty that expires after election season. “What is truth?” Pilate once asked Jesus. Today’s leaders answer confidently, “Whatever works as a coverup!”

Flexibility, my dear friends, has become our national trait. Not yoga-style flexibility, where you bend for health. But the other kind—where spines are optional, and tongues twist faster than a power drill. And so, the idea of “installment bribes” isn’t just tolerated—it’s applauded for innovation!

But here’s the problem: When lies become so normal, truth becomes dangerous. When cheating is expected, honesty looks foolish. And when bribes become policy, justice becomes a luxury item available only to those who can pay in full.

So, dear readers, as we giggle at the absurdity of Flexi-Bribes, let’s remember: the real joke’s on us.

And before we ask, “Why is our country like this?”—let’s ask ourselves: “What part of this system have we flexibly accepted?”

Because corruption isn’t just about taking money. Sometimes, it’s about staying silent.

And we’ve been paying that EMI for too long…!

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