I often pass churches where notices solemnly announce nine day novenas, thirteen Fridays or Wednesdays, special candles and assorted spiritual schemes which sometimes sound suspiciously like festive discount offers. Come nine days and receive one miracle free. Light twelve candles and perhaps promotion in office. Offer flowers and whispered requests…
Make a Bargain With God..!
Let’s Go Fly A Kite..!
“Let’s go fly a kite,” sang Julie Andrews, and I suspect she was not merely talking of paper, string and boys running across maidans yelling instructions nobody obeys. She was talking of imagination. And I worry we have misplaced ours. Once upon a time boredom was not a disease. It…
Learning to Use a Mic..!
Yesterday was Shakespeare’s birthday and celebrated as World English Day, I was invited as chief guest to an international school in Mumbai and went prepared to speak about literature, language, and perhaps throw in a quote or two from the Bard. There were songs, skits, speeches, confidence, discipline, and very…
Brilliant Wardrobe Management…!
The Mumbai police have decided to issue maroon T shirts and shorts for male suspects lodged in central lock ups. “It’s an ingenious idea,” said a police commissioner from another state in northern India, known for its instant justice. “Ingenious?” I asked. “How?” He looked at me the way a…
Darkening His Skin Tone..!
A political leader from the north, has decided to darken his skin tone before addressing rallies in Tamil Nadu. I doubt this is very clever strategy. Because if there is one thing we have perfected as a nation, it is our absolute, unwavering, and sometimes ridiculous obsession with fairness. Not…
Your Actions Advertise Your Faith…!
Somewhere in the madness of war, where bullets argue louder than philosophers and explosions interrupt even the sincerest prayers, two soldiers found themselves in a moment that no debate show could ever recreate. One was wounded. The other was not. Now if this had been a panel discussion, experts would…
The Quiet Whimper That Wasn’t..!
The other day someone told me, in a voice usually reserved for income tax notices and dental appointments, “I am afraid I will disappear into the unknown without a whimper.” Now that is a frightening thought. Not the disappearing part. We all know that is part of the deal. You…
Giving Up the Old Man..!
A few evenings ago, I spent an evening with someone who I heard was on first name terms with every liquor bottle in the neighbourhood. And then something happened. He gave his life to God. Now before you imagine a dramatic thunderclap and a choir singing somewhere behind the curtains,…
It’s Saturday..!
There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who wake up on a Saturday morning with a sense of purpose, and those who wake up and wonder what that unfamiliar feeling is. That feeling, my dear reader, is called freedom. It visits you once a week, looks around…
Sexual Harassment and Forced Conversion..!
Yesterday I read a news report that left me more confused than a man trying to understand GST without a calculator, a lawyer, and divine intervention. A corporate office in Nashik, had been accused of sexual harassment. Serious issue. Grave matter. Needs investigation, justice, and strong action. But later, a…


Robert Clements is a newspaper columnist and writes a daily column, which has graced the pages of over 60 newspapers and magazines, from a daily column in the Khaleej Times, Dubai, the Morning Star, London, and in nearly every state in India, from The Statesman in Kolkata, to the Kashmir Times in Kashmir to the Trinity Mirror in Chennai.