“Mama!” “Yes my son?” “The exit polls said, I and that thirty one year old boy would win in Bihar!” “I know my son, but they were wrong! On top of it you lost quite miserably!” “But the exit polls did not say that! I think we should make the…
Transferring the Wife..!
The quarreling in the house at the end of the road, had been going on throughout the night and finally the neighbours, unable to sleep called the police. “Sir,” said the inspector as he entered the house and looked at the elderly couple. “You both are making too much noise,…
Sir Niceness Throws out Mr Trump..!
Sir Niceness, nearly lost out in the four years that the White House was occupied by a boorish, loud, arrogant president, and though many reasons have been attributed to his downfall, despite fulfilling many of his promises, most voters, at least a little over half of America, wanted someone nice…
Are You Being Served..!
Sometime before the lockdown I had been invited by an organization to deliver the keynote address at a church. My driver drove me to the location but as he parked, we saw a watchman waving frantically and advancing threateningly towards us, “Don’t park inside!” he shouted, “It is only for…
Growing Old..!
It was just the other day while shopping with my daughter, I noticed I was paying more attention to the pavement I was walking on than the display in the shop windows. I wondered for a moment and realized I was so scared of slipping on the uneven tiles that…
A Finishing School For Men..!
“A finishing school for men?, “I asked the owner of the school, “I have never heard of anything so strange.” “And why not?” asked the owner, as he directed a painter to give finishing touches to the board outside, “if our women can win beauty contests at the world level,…
Baby Trump Throws a Tantrum..!
And as Trump, hees and haws about letting go of the presidency, Liberty, the statue calls out to him, “Baby Donny, now give your toy white house to Joe, you’ve had four full years of living there!” “No, I won’t! See I’m younger than he is, and tougher. Look at…
Passing the Airhostess at Work..!
A nightmare faced by air hostesses quite often, other than hijacks and terrorist attacks are people who want to walk past the food trolley to the toilet when food is being served. I was talking to Anne a pretty young flight steward, and she swore people did it on purpose…
Let’s Produce Harmony..!
’Twas just three years ago, seventy-three voices, including mine, and an orchestra of thirty-one raised their voices, violins, violas, cellos, oboes, clarinets, bassoons, french horns, trumpets, trombones, and a timpani, making glorious music! There must have been a smile on Mozart’s face somewhere in the heavens as he heard Indians…
If Shoes Could Speak..!
Mine did, just now! “What’s happening?” asked my dusty brown pair of shoes, now looking almost black after lying unused for the last eight months or so, “We used to be your source of pride! You even got a family member to bring special polish from New York, for us…
Robert Clements is a newspaper columnist and writes a daily column, which has graced the pages of over 60 newspapers and magazines, from a daily column in the Khaleej Times, Dubai, the Morning Star, London, and in nearly every state in India, from The Statesman in Kolkata, to the Kashmir Times in Kashmir to the Trinity Mirror in Chennai.