I wondered this morning if Lazarus groaned. Not from illness—but from disappointment. I mean, imagine you’re best buddies with Jesus, the miracle-working Messiah, and your sisters send for Him because you’re sick—deathly sick. You expect Him to burst in like some renowned medical doctor, lay hands, raise eyebrows, wave His…
Robert Clements is a journalist and newspaper columnist. With an estimated 6 million readership, his column, Bob’s Banter is published in over 30 newspapers and magazines in nearly every state in India, as well as in the top newspapers of Bangladesh, London and Dubai and is also translated into Hindi, Punjabi and Urdu.
Passing the Political Laughter Test..!
Before being elected, politicians should be made to attend a special school. Not one where economics and politics are taught—no, sir! —but one where they’re taught to laugh at themselves! Yes, I’m talking about good old belly-shaking, ego-deflating, humility-inducing laughter—at themselves! Imagine, if you will, a classroom full of aspiring…
You Are Mad..!
It’s a strange thing, isn’t it? You speak the truth, and they say you’ve lost your marbles. No, not gently suggest you might need a vacation, but outright declare: “You are mad!” I’ve seen it happen. In offices, homes, clubs with leather armchairs and stale sandwiches — anywhere someone dares…
Arms, Legs, and no Body..!
A dear old lady, after reading my piece yesterday on “Using the whip inside the temple,” wrote to me and said, “Bob, do you think our religious institutions would ever need such a cleansing?” I wrote back, “Ma’am, if Jesus walked into some of our places of worship today, he’d…
Using the Whip inside the Temple..!
On Monday, I watched a play in an auditorium, sponsored by a church in Mumbai. It was a serious production, staged with earnestness, certainly not with the hope of stirring faith but maybe with the intention of reviving thought. I’m sure it did neither as what I saw was a…
It’s Not about Tamil or Hindi..!
The other day, as I was sipping my third cup of filter kaapi at a friend’s home, I was interrupted by a loud and angry television anchor, veins bulging, hair flailing, mouth firing missiles—not about corruption, not inflation—but English! Apparently, a national leader, perhaps in a moment of cheeky candour…
The Train is Coming, Boys..!
Two years ago, I found myself flanked by some of the sharpest minds of our times— Gopalakrishna Gandhi, Gandhiji’s grandson, whose calm intellect could humble a storm, Vijay Amritraj, who’d volley words with the same finesse he did tennis balls at Wimbledon and Shashi Tharoor, who spoke online, with his…
Did Moses Have Ulcers?
Did Moses have ulcers? I mean, he must have, right? Leading a nation of grumblers through a desert for 40 years would give anyone a lifetime prescription of antacids, not to mention a therapist on call all the time. But no. He didn’t. The man lived to 120. And not…
The Tariff of Hate..!
As fresh tariffs are slapped on Indian exports, the world watches with raised eyebrows and recalibrated spreadsheets. Economists mutter about supply chains, trade deficits, and currency pressures. But while we scramble to respond to these external challenges, there’s a heavier, more invisible burden that India drags along—a burden not imposed…
When Recession Kills Romance..!
She leaned over the counter, a twinkle in her eye and a knowing smile. “It’s funny, ain’t it?” she said, wiping a glass clean. “Men only stop foolin’ around when their wallets get thin.” Well she didn’t actually speak to me, but she spoke into a camera and the recording…
Robert Clements is a newspaper columnist and writes a daily column, which has graced the pages of over 60 newspapers and magazines, from a daily column in the Khaleej Times, Dubai, the Morning Star, London, and in nearly every state in India, from The Statesman in Kolkata, to the Kashmir Times in Kashmir to the Trinity Mirror in Chennai.