Ever watched someone fumbling with the TV remote during a tense cricket match? The batsman is facing the last ball, the whole family is on edge, and suddenly, Uncle Ramesh presses pause! “Arrey, bathroom break,” he mutters. And the whole room groans. The moment is frozen. Suspense hangs in the…
Robert Clements is a journalist and newspaper columnist. With an estimated 6 million readership, his column, Bob’s Banter is published in over 30 newspapers and magazines in nearly every state in India, as well as in the top newspapers of Bangladesh, London and Dubai and is also translated into Hindi, Punjabi and Urdu.
To Slap or To Shake..!
Israel says it’s made a significant dent. The US says it’s made it’s point. Iran, not to be left out, declares a glorious victory. It’s the kind of global group project where everyone insists they did all the work. And what did they all do, exactly? Slap each other? Yes,…
A Happy State of Emergency..!
Fifty years ago, Mrs Indira Gandhi did something absolutely shocking. No, not talk in better English than the BBC anchor who interviewed her, but The Emergency. She declared it, imposed it, and for 21 months, India was in lockdown before lockdowns became fashionable. Newspapers were gagged, politicians were jailed, and…
How Far Can Saints Take You..?
It was St. Anthony’s feast day the other day, and as I passed a church glowing with candles and filled with the fragrance of frankincense, I found myself pondering — “How far can saints take me?” It’s a curious question. Because if you ask some folks, they’ll tell you quite…
Heat Wave in Chicago..!
“There’s going to be a heat wave this weekend,” I was warned, as I leaned back into the cool embrace of an air-conditioned sofa in my Chicago home. I looked out of the window. The grass outside was green, the sun was generous, and I nodded gravely, as a responsible…
The Bald and the Bearded..!
It was a bright morning in a village next to Malgudi, where the sun always rose on command and set only after checking in with the high command. And at the very edge of the village — just beyond the signboard that read “Truth not allowed beyond this point” —…
Mocked for Speaking English..!
So, there I was, sipping a hot cup of cutting chai outside my local teashop, when I heard someone laugh. Not at a joke, or a meme, or even at a politician’s promise — no, someone was being laughed at for speaking English! “Angrez ban raha hai!” they snorted, as…
Please Don’t Take Off..!
So, there I was, strapped into seat 46A, my boarding pass still crumpled in my fist, and a packet of peanuts unopened in my lap—not because I don’t like peanuts, but because the moment the plane began to taxi, I found myself whispering, “Don’t take off… please, don’t take off!”…
Flexi-Bribe and Flexi-Truth..!
Somewhere between the EMI for your fridge and the EMI for your scooter, corrupt Gujarat government officers have added one more installment option—bribes! Yes, in what could only be described as a jaw-dropping entry for the “You-Can’t-Make-This-Stuff-Up” awards, The Times of India reported that government officials in Ahmedabad are kindly…
Jumping Off A Burning Plane..!
Ahmedabad, last week. A plane crashes. Catches fire. The horror unfolds in seconds. Two hundred and forty-one people perish in a flaming coffin. And one man—just one—jumps off before the inferno claims him. He doesn’t pray for the pilot to say something. Doesn’t wait for the safety card to start…
Robert Clements is a newspaper columnist and writes a daily column, which has graced the pages of over 60 newspapers and magazines, from a daily column in the Khaleej Times, Dubai, the Morning Star, London, and in nearly every state in India, from The Statesman in Kolkata, to the Kashmir Times in Kashmir to the Trinity Mirror in Chennai.