Someone turned to me the other day and said with great philosophical finality, “Well, it was his karma, no?” The statement was in reference to a young student who had plunged to his death as a footbridge gave way in his town. Karma? Really? Not poor maintenance? Not substandard cables…
Robert Clements is a journalist and newspaper columnist. With an estimated 6 million readership, his column, Bob’s Banter is published in over 30 newspapers and magazines in nearly every state in India, as well as in the top newspapers of Bangladesh, London and Dubai and is also translated into Hindi, Punjabi and Urdu.
‘Convert Confidence in Ourselves’ Law..!
As I sip my morning coffee and flip through the papers, I can’t help but notice something that’s becoming as predictable as potholes during our monsoons—yet another law being passed to protect us from ourselves. This week’s winner? The Love Jihad law. Next up? The Anti-Conversion law. And while they…
An Indian Makeover Is a Must..!
Was chatting yesterday with an editor of an American magazine. Now she may have looked like the average Manhattan professional—coffee in one hand, laptop in the other—but she was born in Taiwan. “My country,” she said, “is tiny. But look how the world guards us.” Guards them? You’d think she…
The Captain, Compassion, and Suicide..!
The world, it seems, is no longer whispering. It’s murmuring loudly, speculating wildly, and pointing fingers with grim certainty at the cockpit of the doomed Air-India aircraft. “Suicide,” they say. “The Captain was depressed.” And with that, the captain of Flight 171 becomes both accused and judged—without trial, without evidence,…
Andy the Ant..!
“Humans,” sighed Andy the little Ant, flattening himself against a cracked tile, “have only one purpose in life: to kill us!” His mother, veteran of many a kitchen swabbing raid and the Great Pest Control Genocide of 2025, didn’t flinch. She calmly adjusted her feelers and said, “Come, Andy. Climb…
Hugging the Wrong Curve..!
It was a line I read years ago, tucked away in a traffic police safety article: “He crashed because he was hugging the wrong curve.” You see, he wasn’t steering into the curve on the road—he was busy canoodling with the curve beside him. Yes, that’s right. One hand on…
A Bhangra ‘Abide With Me’..!
The other day I was humming “Abide With Me” under my breath—yes, just quietly, reverently, in my usual out-of-tune baritone—when someone at home (I won’t mention who, but she’s usually quite fond of my ‘music’) wrinkled her nose and said, “Could you not sing that? It sounds… mournful. Like you’re…
There’s Dirt Beneath Your Feet..!
Over the years, I’ve felt rather smug about my eyesight. Never needed glasses for anything except reading. While friends began peering over bifocals, I’d flash my eyes proudly and hit a four in local cricket matches. So, there I was, strolling down the genteel streets of Manhattan’s Upper East Side,…
Influencing, Reels, and a Life Lost..!
She should’ve been swinging a racquet on court, not shot dead by her father. Why was she killed? Because Radhika Yadav, a celebrated state level tennis player made reels. Because she wanted to be an “influencer.” Ah, the word that gets thrown around these days like confetti at a wedding—influencer….
Learning the Local Language..!
Hey guys! Yes, you—with the raised fists and the angry slogans, thrashing that helpless commuter just because he couldn’t say, “Where’s the bus stop?” in your language. Here’s some breaking news: in just a matter of months, maybe even weeks, every man, woman, and chaiwala will carry a gadget that…
Robert Clements is a newspaper columnist and writes a daily column, which has graced the pages of over 60 newspapers and magazines, from a daily column in the Khaleej Times, Dubai, the Morning Star, London, and in nearly every state in India, from The Statesman in Kolkata, to the Kashmir Times in Kashmir to the Trinity Mirror in Chennai.