Breaking news! Breaking news! Hold on to your samosas, ladies and gentlemen, because the Ministry of Education—yes, that ministry, the one meant to sharpen minds and sculpt futures—has just declared war… on fried food. Not on failing schools. Not on outdated syllabi. Not on students memorizing for marks instead of…
Robert Clements is a journalist and newspaper columnist. With an estimated 6 million readership, his column, Bob’s Banter is published in over 30 newspapers and magazines in nearly every state in India, as well as in the top newspapers of Bangladesh, London and Dubai and is also translated into Hindi, Punjabi and Urdu.
Running to China…!
Somewhere in Shanghai, the tall Chinaman looked at the other Chinaman and chuckled, “I can see someone running toward us.” “Who?” asked the second Chinaman, lifting his teacup with casual indifference. “The man from the cow belt. Wears kurtas that hug the wind and speaks in three-syllable slogans.” “But why…
Jyoti Sharma and a ‘Lesser’ People..!
It stings, doesn’t it? To be mocked on the world stage. To have a foreign leader—not exactly known for consistency or tact—toss our economic efforts aside with a sneer, label us a “dead economy,” and then, while we bend over backwards to accommodate his whims, leave us humiliated in front…
If The World Was A Café..!
This evening I have a rather unusual appointment. Not with a producer or a publisher, but with a few respected members of the Jewish community here in New York. No, not to debate politics or discuss theology. But ones who have shown great interest in a play I’ve written—about solving…
Why Hail the Bail?
And so, they walked out. Heads covered. Eyes tired. Shoulders slumped—not in defeat, but from ten days of sleeping on cold concrete and listening to threats that would’ve shaken the average street-hardened thug. But they were not thugs. They were not scamsters. They hadn’t set fire to buses or incited…
The Inside No One Sees..!
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.” — Colossians 3:23 In this imaginative and motivational book I’m writing, Jesus the Businessman, there’s this moment where the Joseph and Son carpentry workshop runs out of cupboard polish. The apprentices—lads with…
Our Doctorates, Awards and Rewards..!
So, Shah Rukh Khan is finally getting his first National Film Award. Yes, after thirty years of redefining cinema, of winning hearts across continents, of creating an empire on nothing but sheer talent and charm, the powers that be have finally remembered him. They’re dusting off an award and handing…
A ‘Dead Economy’?
It was the funeral of the century. India’s economy lay on a bamboo bier in Delhi’s central square, covered not in the Tricolour, but with copies of the Economic Survey and a few unpaid electricity bills. Priests chanted. TV anchors sniffled into their microphones. Politicians jostled for space like pigeons…
The Hugger-In-Chief..!
Ever been hugged when you didn’t want to be? You know the kind—when a distant uncle at a wedding suddenly clamps you in a bear hug, and you emerge gasping for air, smelling of his aftershave for the next three weeks. Now imagine that uncle is a bearded old Indian…
A Mathematically Shrewd Government..!
It was while sipping my morning coffee and watching the news a few weeks ago, that I noticed something quite spectacular. You all remember this, I’m sure: Our government had dispatched global delegations to defend Operation Sindoor—and in a calculated move, the speakers included members from various political parties, and…
Robert Clements is a newspaper columnist and writes a daily column, which has graced the pages of over 60 newspapers and magazines, from a daily column in the Khaleej Times, Dubai, the Morning Star, London, and in nearly every state in India, from The Statesman in Kolkata, to the Kashmir Times in Kashmir to the Trinity Mirror in Chennai.