The world gasped when it heard about Jeffrey Epstein. We shook our heads in disbelief. Twelve-year-olds. Fourteen-year-olds. Sixteen-year-olds. Powerful men. Private islands. Locked rooms. Hidden cameras. It sounded like a crime thriller written by a novelist with a twisted imagination. Except it was real. And while we clutched our pearls…
Robert Clements is a journalist and newspaper columnist. With an estimated 6 million readership, his column, Bob’s Banter is published in over 30 newspapers and magazines in nearly every state in India, as well as in the top newspapers of Bangladesh, London and Dubai and is also translated into Hindi, Punjabi and Urdu.
A Netflix India..!
The other day we were clutching our collective hearts over a robotic dog that turned out to be less Make in India and more Made Somewhere Else. For a brief shining moment, we were united in embarrassment. How could we present a Chinese pup as our very own desi Doberman…
The Galgotias Iceberg..!
When I first read about the Galgotias University robotic dog that turned out to be a Chinese import wearing an Indian nametag, I felt an unexpected wave of nostalgia. This is exactly the sort of thing a classmate did in Standard Three. He submitted a drawing of a horse that…
Doggie In The Window..!
The other day I heard that old tune, How Much Is That Doggie in the Window, and suddenly I was transported back to a much thinner version of myself, clutching a mouth organ as if it were life support. My school had organised a visit to an old folks home….
Taliban, India and Our Girls..!
The Taliban has very kindly clarified that husbands in Afghanistan may beat their wives, provided they do not break any bones. How thoughtful. One can almost imagine a government circular being issued. “Citizens are advised to keep domestic discipline within orthopaedic limits.” Perhaps next they will introduce a measuring tape…
Did the General Write It?
As a fellow sufferer in the noble profession of writing, I have been watching the great national excitement over General Naravane’s book with mild amusement and the occasional longing to peep in at liquor shops and stare at Officer’s Choice and Old Monk, marketed as the preferred refreshment of men…
A Duet Between Two Birds..!
I am at a little resort in Saphale, two and a half hours from Mumbai, and for once the alarm clock has competition. At six thirty in the morning, before the tea kettle has even considered whistling, the birds have begun their choir practice. Not one bird. Two. And then…
Reckless Anniversary Bravery..!
Today, in a moment of reckless bravery that can only come on a wedding anniversary, I’m going to ask my wife the most dangerous question known to husbands across civilizations. “Do you love me?” Now before you applaud my courage, let me clarify that this is not being asked in…
Only Red Powder Saar..!
I was at the Mumbai T2 airport, feeling adventurous and happily hungry, at the same time, which usually means I order a Mysore masala dosa. There is something about airports that makes you believe you deserve better food than you eat at home. Perhaps it is the boarding pass in…
The Patchwork Quilt..!
At the time of Independence, I am quite sure the British packed their trunks into their old boats with more than tea and silverware. They probably carried a quiet chuckle with them. ‘How on earth,’ they must have thought, ‘would this land of multiple languages, hundreds of dialects, countless cuisines,…
Robert Clements is a newspaper columnist and writes a daily column, which has graced the pages of over 60 newspapers and magazines, from a daily column in the Khaleej Times, Dubai, the Morning Star, London, and in nearly every state in India, from The Statesman in Kolkata, to the Kashmir Times in Kashmir to the Trinity Mirror in Chennai.