The other day I made the mistake of saying I didn’t agree with a certain policy of the government. I should’ve just confessed to treason and asked for a firing squad. You see, in today’s patriotic India, there’s only one kind of citizen allowed—the clapping kind. The kind who applauds…
Robert Clements is a journalist and newspaper columnist. With an estimated 6 million readership, his column, Bob’s Banter is published in over 30 newspapers and magazines in nearly every state in India, as well as in the top newspapers of Bangladesh, London and Dubai and is also translated into Hindi, Punjabi and Urdu.
Blessed Are the Peacemakers…!
As fighter jets roared above and reports of “skirmishes”—because no one wanted to call it a war just yet—filled our newsfeeds, WhatsApp groups, and dinner table conversations, it was easy, almost fashionable, to pick a side. And by “side,” I don’t mean our country. That’s a given—we stand by her,…
From Meows to Mighty Roars…!
Yesterday, as I sat across from an old friend—one of those easy chairs-and-chai sort of friendships that stretch across decades—he dropped a little news bomb between bites of samosa. “She’s pregnant,” he said, smiling. “Who?” I asked. “My daughter.” And just like that, I was no longer chewing on samosa,…
Saying Sorry — And When Not To…!
Was walking past the living room in my daughter’s house when I heard a sweet voice from my granddaughter’s tablet singing, “If you hurt someone today, say you’re sorry right away!” I nodded approvingly. Yes, good manners. Good values. But do we need to say sorry all the time? And…
Groceries or Unnecessaries…!
So there I was, on a noble mission—to buy a loaf of bread. Simple, humble, unassuming bread. I marched confidently into the grocery store like a soldier on assignment. And then it began. The assault. Not by the store manager or some overenthusiastic salesperson. No, this attack was silent, sophisticated,…
Operation Common Sense..!
Thank God for the retaliatory strikes. Because if they hadn’t happened, I’m quite sure we would’ve seen war break out—not at the borders, but at the local tea stall near your house. Yes, between Sharmaji, who suddenly discovered his inner Chanakya, and Khan saab, who just wanted to buy a…
I’ll Be Back Soon..!
Was speaking last evening to a man whose wife is an army officer, posted somewhere near the treacherous snow-dusted stretches of Kashmir. He looked like a calm man, not the kind you’d expect to betray his emotions—but there, behind his tired smile, sat a pair of eyes that had clearly…
Of Tunnels, Terror, and Tears..!
Exactly two years ago, I found myself descending into the bowels of the earth—into the underground city of Derinkuyu in Cappadocia, Türkiye. A vast subterranean labyrinth, carved out of volcanic rock, where some twenty thousand early Christians once lived, breathed, bartered and believed—in peace, but not in freedom. Why underground?…
The Great Indian Doorstep Drama…!
It begins, quite innocently. You’ve had a delightful evening at your friend’s place. Good food, warm conversation, possibly a brief skirmish about which cricket team is truly “in transition,” and now it’s time to head home. You stand, stretch politely, express thanks, and begin the ceremonious journey to the door….
The Angel and the Worms…!
I still remember that day. Not because it was special, but precisely because I tried to make it sound like it was. There I was at a worksite, standing near one of my employees—Peter, I think his name was—who looked at me with the sort of admiration usually reserved for…
Robert Clements is a newspaper columnist and writes a daily column, which has graced the pages of over 60 newspapers and magazines, from a daily column in the Khaleej Times, Dubai, the Morning Star, London, and in nearly every state in India, from The Statesman in Kolkata, to the Kashmir Times in Kashmir to the Trinity Mirror in Chennai.