Maybe you don’t know, or just maybe you don’t want to read between the lines but before Putin went to war, he first saw to it that newspapers and magazines throughout the world showed him with his shirt off and his bulging KGB muscles. Now we realise there was a…
Robert Clements is a journalist and newspaper columnist. With an estimated 6 million readership, his column, Bob’s Banter is published in over 30 newspapers and magazines in nearly every state in India, as well as in the top newspapers of Bangladesh, London and Dubai and is also translated into Hindi, Punjabi and Urdu.
No Free Sari..!
As I see the multiple floor crossings by our politicians, I realise that these men and women have no ideology they believe in and it is only we voters who have been made fools by believing them when we cast our votes for what we think they stand for. But…
Swabbing Without Sweeping..!
When our maid goes on leave during Ganpati, she usually gets a replacement and it was during one of those times, I found myself sneezing away to glory. The culprit is generally house dust, and I wondered where such dust could be springing from, till I gently nudged my big…
Joyless Face of the Billionaire..!
As I hear about this or that billionaire, becoming the richest or the second richest man, or making it to the Fortune 500 list, I wonder whether they ever enjoy the happiness their wealth should give them? I’ve never seen joy on their faces! Yes, there’s the fixed plastic smile…
The Royal Ghost and The Governor..!
With all the skirmishes going on between the governors of the different states, especially those ruled by the opposition and the elected representatives, it wasn’t too much of a surprise when one of them received a call, late at night. “Hello!” said the Governor, weary with a battle he had…
Simple, Soothing, Strengthening..!
More than a year ago, it was sad seeing my huge German-Shepherd dog, whimpering in pain. His ear had got infected, so with cotton swabs, antiseptic cream and warm water in a plastic mug, I slowly and laboriously started cleaning it, holding his head lovingly against me, before putting soothing…
Only Wheel for Indian Roads..!
The five tyre manufacturers, one an American, an Englishman, a German, a Frenchman and a Japanese sat huddled together in a hotel in Mumbai looking quite lost and confused. “Friends,” said the American, “we are gathered here today to pool our ideas to overcome this terrible crisis that has hit…
A Silly, Ungrateful People..!
“You are an ungrateful people!” I shout, as bruised, battered and beaten, a tired people stare back at me: “We can’t take being pushed, pulled and pummeled every moment of the day!” cry the people, “Either it’s a lynching mob stringing up someone, or government agencies putting people in jail!…
Votes for a Great Indian Wedding..!
With Rahul’s name again being proposed to lead the Congress, most everyone feel it is time Rahul has a wife campaigning by his side. I decided in my imagination to visit the party headquarters. “We have decided to tackle this problem head on,” said a party worker grimly, “and have…
A New Parliament Building
‘.. the new building….will cost Rs 970 crore. It would replace the existing colonial structure..’.. Times of India My friend, a building contractor rushed to my home yelling, “I am going to be a rich man, I may be awarded the contract to build a bigger Parliament House!” “Why?” I…
Robert Clements is a newspaper columnist and writes a daily column, which has graced the pages of over 60 newspapers and magazines, from a daily column in the Khaleej Times, Dubai, the Morning Star, London, and in nearly every state in India, from The Statesman in Kolkata, to the Kashmir Times in Kashmir to the Trinity Mirror in Chennai.