A teacher pointed out a young child to me, “She’s good,” said the teacher, “she knows all the answers but hesitates to put up her hand!” “Why?” I asked bewildered. “She’s scared to be wrong!” said the teacher. A humorous story has it that a newly appointed young clergy person…
Praying Over a Septic Tank..!
A Ghost Wearing a Helmet..!
‘A ghost wearing a helmet,’ I said watching the eerie figure of a skeleton dancing up and down in front of me. ‘I thought you guys had a thick skull, I never knew ghost wore helmets.’ ‘If I’d only worn one when I was alive, I wouldn’t be a ghost…
She Smelt of Soap..!
He sat in his room, an old man, the pain was killing him, his arthritis was getting worse and as he looked at the faded pictures adorning his walls of children far away, his heart ached. Suddenly, the doorbell rang. She stood outside the door of his flat, “I’m Diana’s…
Pakistan Cheering for India..!
On silver sands on a beachfront a pair of reading glasses looked myopically at the sea. They belonged to me. I discovered they were missing only after reaching home. Couldn’t find my spare pair either, nor the ones made for computer screen. I could do everything but read. The morning…
It Still Rained..!
“Push the clouds to the side please!” I prayed this morning, as I watched dark, rain clouds coming towards me from afar. It had started as a sunny day and I’d gone to my terrace garden as usual, along with my dog and was playing with him, after which I…
Open the Door, Step Out..!
Met a friend of mine, and we spent some time chatting with each other. “You know Bob,” he said, “I grew up in Ahmadabad and when I told my family I was going to Mumbai they asked me if I had taken leave of my senses. They told me how…
Curious and Funny Word Origins..!
For many years I had a weekly column which dealt with the origin of our English words! More often than not, we speak this wonderful language, without really checking from where some of the words originally originated. The field dealing with the origin of words is Etymology. Today I thought…
Say Yes, to No..!
Something that happens to many writers is to discuss a plot or story line, before they’ve written it. The first thing that happens in such a discussion is that you have given the other person leave to shoot down something brilliant, before it has taken shape on paper. Also you…
Toughening Foreign Investors..!
“Make in India!” We cry zealously from our rooftops and WhatsApp groups as national leaders spend precious time and tax payers money going from country to country wooing their industrialists to open their factories, offices and make huge investments here in our country. What they find when they do arrive…
Good People and Tough Times..!
A butcher is really surprised to see a dog coming inside his shop. He shoos him away. But later, the dog is back, so he goes over to the dog and notices it has a note in its mouth. It reads, “Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of…


Robert Clements is a newspaper columnist and writes a daily column, which has graced the pages of over 60 newspapers and magazines, from a daily column in the Khaleej Times, Dubai, the Morning Star, London, and in nearly every state in India, from The Statesman in Kolkata, to the Kashmir Times in Kashmir to the Trinity Mirror in Chennai.