A few days ago, while having my morning coffee, listening to the birds and flipping through the newspaper with one hand I nearly spat the hot brew on the crossword puzzle. A full-page article—yes, not an ad for designer tiles or discount flats—boldly proclaimed that builders in Mumbai were requesting…
Robert Clements is a journalist and newspaper columnist. With an estimated 6 million readership, his column, Bob’s Banter is published in over 30 newspapers and magazines in nearly every state in India, as well as in the top newspapers of Bangladesh, London and Dubai and is also translated into Hindi, Punjabi and Urdu.
The Angels Are Vexed..!
The angels were vexed. Not just annoyed. Vexed. An old English word that belongs to Shakespearean dialogue, but perfectly suited the mood in heaven this Sunday morning. Harps were untuned, wings were ruffled, and not a single angel felt like singing. It had started quite innocently. One of them, glanced…
Measure to Save Treasure..!
It was a heroic moment. Or so I thought. There I stood like some desi Hercules, staring at my treadmill. “Today,” I declared to myself, “you move!” The treadmill, however, stayed where it was, unimpressed by my proclamation and utterly unaware that it was about to be relocated from my…
Dying Before Knowing…!
Many years ago, while writing for the Asian Age, a paper that MJ Akbar owned, he wrote me a line I’ve never forgotten. “Never criticize anyone immediately after a tragedy.” A rare bit of editorial wisdom. And so, though every fibre in me wants to take a red pen dipped…
Hope to Meet Again..!
When we are called to part, it gives us inward pain… said the old hymn, which Jane hummed under her breath while standing at the gate, waving goodbye to a friend. She had come all the way from another city, bearing home-made pickles, her trademark laughter, and tales of their…
Listen to the Generals..!
My mother didn’t raise me on just verses from the scriptures or moral science textbooks. She also raised me on stories of her two brothers—one a top ranking officer who flew fighter jets with the Indian Air Force, and the other who led troops as a proud officer of the…
Stop the Witch Hunt..!
So Bangladesh has begun a trial against Hasina for mass murder. My first reaction? “Wait, wasn’t she in power just a few months ago?” And then it hit me—this is the new game in town. Not politics, not democracy, not elections, but revenge matches. Forget “building a better tomorrow,” it’s all…
A Coat of Paint and Nothing Underneath..!
Over forty-one years ago, I bought my first car. I was just in my twenties, armed with ambition, a growing business, and a desperate desire to own a four-wheeled beast I could call mine. And so, when the opportunity arose to buy a car — a real car! — I…
The Family God Chose..!
You’ll see the name often — Holy Family. On the gate of a school or the entrance of a hospital. And we nod along solemnly, as though the name itself has explained everything. But have you ever stopped to ask: What exactly is this Holy Family? And why did God…
Not Just Another Masala Dosa..!
It was one of the strangest sights I’ve ever seen. No, not a politician paying his electricity bill, or a traffic cop refusing a bribe—though those would rank quite high on the “Miracles List.” This was something simpler. I was down South for a wedding. A grand affair. The kind…
Robert Clements is a newspaper columnist and writes a daily column, which has graced the pages of over 60 newspapers and magazines, from a daily column in the Khaleej Times, Dubai, the Morning Star, London, and in nearly every state in India, from The Statesman in Kolkata, to the Kashmir Times in Kashmir to the Trinity Mirror in Chennai.