Ah, the White House! The seat of power and dignity. Where presidents pause before every syllable, where journalists cross their legs like they belong to a ballet troupe, and where historical furniture sits with the silent patience of a butler who has seen it all—until, of course, Elon Musk’s toddler…
Robert Clements is a journalist and newspaper columnist. With an estimated 6 million readership, his column, Bob’s Banter is published in over 30 newspapers and magazines in nearly every state in India, as well as in the top newspapers of Bangladesh, London and Dubai and is also translated into Hindi, Punjabi and Urdu.
A Real Women’s Day Gift..!
The morning papers headlined PM Modi’s latest announcement, of handing over his social media accounts to women on Women’s Day, March 8. Sounds like a grand gesture, doesn’t it? A modern-day digital chariot ride for women achievers, paraded before millions of followers. But before we break into applause, let’s pause…
A Divine Recruitment Drive..!
I had a chat with God. Yes, you heard right—God! Now, before you call the psychiatrist on my behalf, let me clarify: it was an imaginary spiritual conversation, one of those deep, soul-searching moments that leave you rattled like a Bollywood hero after discovering he’s been adopted in the third…
A Five-Star Jacuzzi..!
Wow! Haven’t we as a nation mastered the art of pretending normalcy? You know, that art of putting on a straight face and saying, “Everything’s fine!” Even when our world is going up in flames? It’s like we are in a small boat in the middle of a storm, and…
Admit When Wrong..!
One night while watching George C. Scott acting as a New York cop in an old movie my thoughts went back many decades when dad had taken my brother and me to see the movie ‘Patton.’ I hero worshipped the General as he won battle after battle for the allied…
Divide Them-You Fall..!
As I hear about roads being renamed and unjust laws being passed, let it be noted, there’s a curious thing about governments that thrive on dividing people: they rarely survive long enough to enjoy the fruits of their mischief. History has a knack for toppling rulers who think they can…
Tapping and Nudging..!
Something that happens during our wet monsoons is the stubborn defiance of jammed doors, unyielding windows, and cupboard drawers with an attitude that could put the most obstinate of politicians to shame. We pull, push, heave, haul, and hoist, only to be met with rigid resistance, quite akin to an…
An India We Would Hate to Leave..!
Some of the reactions by our own people, about the deportees from America, were hilarious and ridiculous. Some cursed them, others ridiculed them and many laughed at them. But…. I know that most of these same people who reacted thus, if told they could go and settle in America would…
I Knew You’d Fix It…!
John believed engines made more sense than people. As a mechanic, he found comfort in gears, bolts, and oil-stained overalls. Machines were predictable; God, on the other hand, was a concept he had long discarded—somewhere between his business failing and the moment he realized no divine hand was coming down…
Shut Up, after they are Gone..!
Very often during funerals, I hear speaker after speaker giving lengthy eulogies about the boldness or courage of the man or woman who is to be buried or cremated. As I listen to them speak, and knowing how that dead person stood very often alone in adversity, I wonder why…
Robert Clements is a newspaper columnist and writes a daily column, which has graced the pages of over 60 newspapers and magazines, from a daily column in the Khaleej Times, Dubai, the Morning Star, London, and in nearly every state in India, from The Statesman in Kolkata, to the Kashmir Times in Kashmir to the Trinity Mirror in Chennai.