Knighthood for a Footballer..!
“….Officials in Britain are wrangling over whether former England football captain David Beckham should be given a knighthood…”
Evening Standard, London, 31st May
The clock struck twelve midnight and at Camelot the knights of the Round Table with King Arthur at the head and Merlin the wizard at the other end sat and waited for the others to take their places; they were Sir Lancelot, his grim faced son Galahad, King Leodegrance, father of Queen Genevieve and keeper of the Round Table, Sir Bedivere, Sir Constantine, Sir Percival and others. All, like Galahad sat stern faced, even Sir Dagonet the jester wasn’t smiling.
“For what reason have we been summoned from our graves?” asked old Merlin wagging his white beard at the others.
“I have heard,” said King Arthur, his voice resounding in the stillness of the night, “that strange men are now called to be knights in the Kingdom of England! Men who know not the art of war and use only sweet tongue and fat wallet to get themselves a knighthood!”
There was commotion among all the knights and it took a strong Arthur to quieten them.
“Who is the latest who aspires to be knighted?” asked Sir Lancelot looking at both his King and wizard angrily.
“It is a man called Beckham!” said Sir Galahad.
“Where has he fought battle?”
“In the fields of Madrid and Barcelona and soon in America!”
“Battlefields?” asked a wise Merlin.
“Nay football fields!” replied Galahad.
“And what has he done for England that he be knighted?”
“He has mastered the technique of bump and run and is excellent with his cut backs, he be the only one who has learnt and still uses the dead ball and it is said on football field, a very difficult man to tackle!”
The members of the Round Table looked at each other.
“Are there other feats that make him deserving of Knighthood?” asked Sir Dagonet, the jester, “feats such as Sir Lancelot here is famous for?”
“What feats do you talk about?” bristled King Arthur as he glared at Lancelot who he knew was still in love with his beloved Genevieve.
“His prowess in bed!” giggled Sir Bedivere.
“Have you proof?” asked Lancelot.
“Well there’s Victoria and Rebecca and Esther and a Japanese woman and Nancy who he met in a French restaurant and Ulrika in a closet…”
“Enough!” shouted King Arthur.
“Enough!” barked a grim faced King Leodegrance
“Enough!” squealed Merlin the wizard.
“Enough!” shouted all the Knights of the Round Table, “how dare England knight such a knave?”
“We have a visitor,” said King Arthur and all the members of the Round Table looked as the British Prime minister came into the room and stood before them.
“Sir Knights,” said Tony, “today this man Beckham is all we have to show the rest of the world, unless you would like to have me knighted?”
“Knight Beckham..!” whispered all the knights gravely as the clock struck one and they all returned grimly to their ghostly graves.
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