Dreams and Fantasies Dept..!
Unknown to most Mumbaikars, the most efficient, capable and competent department of the present state government lies on the 18th floor at Mantralaya; it’s the Dream and Fantasy Department. Yesterday they managed quite a coup, getting the whole of Page 3 devoted to them in Mumbai’s leading newspaper:
‘Churchgate to Virar in 60 Minutes!’
‘Three Swanky Metro Bridges in Two Years!’
‘Faster Travel between Virar and Dahanu!’
“I’m D. Merchant, Head of the Dept,” said a smiling man with a slightly glazed, dreamy gaze as he walked towards me from his office on the 18th floor.
“D. Merchant?”
“My father was quite prophetic when he named me,” laughed Merchant, “D stands for Dream. So that makes me Dream Merchant doesn’t it? Quite an appropriate name for the job I hold I must say!”
“I report directly to the Chief Minister,” Merchant continued, “and have to deliver when the government faces an emergency.”
“What sort of emergency?”
“Well, criticism in its functioning, corruption charges, inefficiency complaints, you know the usual thing. That’s when I get into action. To divert the public’s mind away from complaint or problem, I give the Chief Minister the latest project my dept has dreamt up.”
“Like the Sewri- Uran bridge?”
“Ah that works every time we use it doesn’t it?”
“The Worli- Nariman Point Sea Link?”
“People still jump whenever we throw it to them! Ha, ha!”
“Versova- Colaba boat service?”
“Commuters in jam- packed trains drool when they read it! He, he!”
“Don’t you feel bad cooking up such fantasies?”
“Bad? Are you joking? It’s my department that helps the poor Mumbaikar survive! When he walks through filth, slips into potholes and gasps for air in an over crowded local, he dreams of the Metro, and smiles. When his car is stuck in the mother of all traffic jams, he chuckles, fantasizing about the Sea Link! ”
The phone rang on the 16th floor at Mantralaya, “Yes Chief Minister! Don’t worry sir I’ve got it all ready. It’ll be in tomorrow’s papers sir!”
“Something important?”
“Just the Mithi River broadening! You’ll see it in the papers tomorrow!”
“What’s the plan?”
“Raise the river a hundred feet above all the settlements, scrap dealer shops and slums! There’s no problem then in widening, and should make everyone happy!”
“But that’s practically impossible!” I shouted.
The Dream Merchant walked towards me, “My job,” he said seriously, “is to create dreams and fantasies for you people; whether its practical, whether its feasible, whether you have funds, whether it will ever take place is not my problem nor that of the government I work for..!”
I watched dumbfounded as he unfolded the Mithi River upliftment plan.
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Ha ha ha ! Well that’s great. I do hope Mr. D.Merchant is more efficient and cooks up more dreams for us. As it stands there is nothing else we can do is there?
Like D merchant we seriously need E ( Execution ) merchant . Then D + E together would make India R ( Reality) merchant..
Without services of Mr. Merchant how will the government be able to sell the idea of Mumbai becoming the next Shanghai.
Bob, you need to help Mr D Merchant find a solution to the TONNES of plastic waste and the urinating millions. That’s bound to be original
There is no harm in dreaming because the dreams are the staring point of a visionary who thinks of future progress. But one should have the determination and dedication of Chinese who have converted their dreams into reality in a matter of decades. Where as, we will continue to dream for centuries and at the end, bring out a list of excuses why our dreams could not be converted to a reality!