Deshmukh’s Wings..!
P.K.Bole, retired government official and a good friend, was at my housing society gate this morning, chewing paan and spitting anywhere, as was his habit. “What do your readers think of Chief Minister Deshmukh’s new jet plane?” he asked his red teeth leering at me through cherry red lips.
“With the state having a debt of a hundred lakh crores and farmers committing suicide for lack of subsidy I don’t think spending fifty two crores on a plane…”
P.K beckoned me to silence and spat his wad again on same spot of compound wall as I distinctly heard my society chairman’s window open behind me. “I’ll give you five reasons Deshmukh needs wings,” he said, “You have your note book with you? Write it down and tell your readers!”
“One, it is important to have your head in the clouds!” said P.K as he opened his mouth to spit, then decided otherwise, “Up there he can dream of Mumbai-Shanghai, Bombay- Slumbay or plan for his son to become greater star than the Big B.”
“Secondly you can’t dream big with your feet stuck in pot holes, traffic jams or empty lakes!” P.K spat again and looked at me, “Have you written both reasons down; first head in the clouds, second feet off the ground!”
“Got it!” I said quickly as the secretary’s head now appeared through his window and caught P.K spitting red betel nut on a new spot.
“Now the third reason,” said P.K, “is, we need someone UP there always! With shares falling, rain not falling and prices rising, there has to be someone up in the sky when we look up for help! What more comforting thought than knowing our own chief minister is hovering thirty thousand feet above us in his jet plane. Something like..”
“God!” I said.
“I think you are beginning to understand,” said P.K. Bole as the chairman and secretary walked firmly towards us, “Now the fourth point is a very practical one; with rebel Rane making air dashes to Delhi to complain into Sonia’s ear, our CM needs a faster aircraft to reach Delhi before Rane does. Just imagine Rane looking out of aircraft window and seeing Deshmukh’s jet whizzing past? What better way to show who’s boss!”
I nodded as the two society office bearers reached us. “The fifth good reason, “ said P.K as he vigorously chewed whatever was in his mouth, “is that with our ever vigilant deputy CM also being allowed to use the plane and have joy rides when he wants, Mumbai’s police will be free to do other policing work than just standing outside bars night and day checking whether girls are dancing!”
“Also the Deputy CM being a paan addict like me will be able to spit paan anywhere in the air, rather than all these restrictions Mumbai has!”
With this P.K spat his wad in the direction of the chairman and secretary and walked away as the office bearers red on their face glared at him.
“Sixthly!” shouted P.K, from afar, “at thirty thousand feet up, we’ll ask: ‘Is it a bird?”
“Is it a plane?” spluttered the chairman.
“Is it Superman?” gasped the secretary.
“No its paan on your face..!” laughed P.K as he skipped away.
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