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                                      “Pregnant man gives birth to a girl..”

                      I read in the paper this morning and see that Thomas Beatie, he give birth to a little girl: Now I be a little confused, I spent me whole life calling me papa, papa and me mama, mama, what does this wee thing call her papa.

                       Now I know that most families they wait for little waif to utter first word: “Say papa! Come say papa before papa come home! There now open your mouth say papa!” But I be imagining this little child she won’t say nothin’

“Doctor, we done do all we could, we feed her baby food, cows milk, everthin’ Benjamin Spocks he say in his book, but she don’t wanna say a word! We is scared!”

“Scared of what?”

“That our lil’ girl, she be tongue tied!”

                      The kindly doctor he open the mouth of the child and he poke his instrument behind the tongue and in front of the tongue and even sideways and then he look at papa and mama and grin, “No,” he says, “her little tongue it not be tied up!”

                     The mama and papa, they grin, they shout and even it be rumoured they do a hi five to each other and the cleanin’ woman she swear they do one with the good doc too, like this, “Hi five doc!” And the doctor he open his wallet and says, “It’s ten!” And the couple they become sober again, they look at the doc and say, “If it’s ten, then you got to give a reason doc!”

“Reason fer what?” ask the simple doctor as he stare at the mama and papa and at their little girl.

“You got to give a reason why she ain’t utterin’ a word!”

“Yes doc, you is a medical man, you got to give a reason fer ten!”

                    Now the good doctor he know when his patients don’t wanna pay his bill and he looks at mama and he looks at papa and he looks at his empty wallet and he decides he needs de cash this mama and papa ain’t plannin’ to pay.

“Open yer mouth!” he tells the little girl and the little girl she done do it.

“Close yer mouth!” he tells de lil’ child and she does, oh yes she does.

“Good!” says the doc, “Yer child knows English, Mister…?”

“Beatie!” says de man all solemn like.

“Thomas Beatie?” asks the doc lookin’ strangely at the gentleman again.

“Yeah Thomas Beatie!”

“And you be Mrs Beatie?”

“Oh yes!’ says Mrs Beatie all proud like.

“Then I guess I know why your poor girl she not say nothin’!”

“Why?’ asks Mr Beatie.

“How she gonna say papa, if she don’t know who her papa be?” asks the good doctor taking out ten from Mr Beaties wallet and sending the Beaties to the door.  

                         So all you men who’re plannin’ to become pregnant, remember you got a problem man; you don’t wanna confuse yer lil’ child by him not knowin’ who is papa is do you?

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