Dog Food..!
In his budget speech a few days ago, the Indian Finance Minister Mr Chidambaram announced to the nation that taxes on dog food would be lowered by ten percent. Members of the Indian Parliament looked askance at him, not that they didn’t want their dogs eating cheaper food, but wondering whether this was the forum to announce something so trifling.
I feel the Finance Minister who I believe was going through tremendous stress as he prepared the budget wanted to give his speech a few light touches. “I need to make my colleagues laugh!” he must have pondered as he looked at his pet dog.
“Woof! Woof!” replied his devoted pet.
“Hey that’s a good idea!” Chidambaram must have thought and brought dog food in on a lighter vein.
But we Indians have a terrible sense of humour and Chidambaram’s jest just jettisoned. I wonder why? Even after being ruled for quite a few centuries by the wildly waggish and witty British we haven’t really learned to laugh have we?
I can imagine Lord Sandhurst or Cornwallis returning after inaugurating the first Indian railway or laying the foundation stone for the Howrah Bridge, “How was your speech dear?” asks his wife.
“Very, very funny!”
“Did all the people laugh?”
“Nobody did!” whispers the Lord.
And that night the Lord with heavy heart pens a letter to his Queen, the Empress Victoria, “Your majesty we need to teach your subjects to laugh!”
“Laugh?” asks the Empress.
“Yes laugh!”
“Let them be!” writes the Empress.
“Why?” asks the stubborn Lord.
“Because my dear Sandhurst, if they start laughing, they may laugh at us: Our pomp, our pageantry, my dress sense, your hat, our cricket, our language!”
And so Mr Chidambaram it’s not your fault at all that your pokerfaced wit wilted that day. But outside in the dustbins, dogs, fighting for every scrap that is thrown, tearing each other for spoilt food and bits of refuse, snarling at each other to get to some bit of luscious spoilt filth, and suddenly yelping as they see poor, poverty stricken people also joining them to look in the rubbish bin, start laughing!
“Ten percent off on dog food!” they giggle as they run away from garbage dump.
“Is a lot of money saved!” guffaws the beggar scavenging the heap.
“A great finance minister..!” chortles the rich industrialist looking out of his mansion at thoroughbred dogs patrolling his billion rupee mansion.
Somewhere in the realms of heaven or hell, the late Empress and her Lords turn to each other with a wry smile.
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