De Niece and De Nephew..!
The doctor replied, “Ma’am, you’ve had twins! You’re the proud mother of a handsome baby boy and a beautiful baby girl. Also, you should know that while you were in a coma, your brother named the children for you!”
“Oh, no!” shrieked the woman. “Not my brother! He’s not really all there you know! Bit of an idiot, if you know what I mean!”
The doctor replied, “Well, ma’am, your brother named your daughter Denise.”
“Oh, that’s not so bad,” smiled the woman. Then, hesitantly, she asked, “What’s the boy’s name?”
The doctor grinned and said, “De nephew..!”
Like I said I’ve been laughing every time I repeat it; had my wife chuckling before she went off for work last week, but when I told it to a friend the other day and saw his blank look, made me wonder, who the idiot was: The woman’s brother, my friend who didn’t understand what ‘de nephew’ meant or me for repeating such nonsense!
I’ve had my share of idiot’s or simpletons. We had one in the colony where I lived, and all of us were good to her. One day a close friend of mine in the next building who had been ailing for sometime passed away. He was a Bengali named Tunak but was called Bobby by his relatives. I am also called Bobby by a few friends.
Malathy, the simple girl she was, heard relatives whispering about my friend’s death, then suddenly spied me in the vicinity, “He’s alive!” she shouted, “He’s alive!” and had everyone running to dear Tunak to see whether there’d been a miracle, till they saw her staring at me and realized it was the wrong Bobby she was yelling about!
Like I said I still don’t know who felt more like an idiot, the people, Malathy, or me!
Then there was another time when I first went to a particular church many moons ago. Not knowing anybody I was very happy when this pleasant looking fellow sidled up to me and made conversation after the service till I found him asking for fifty paise. I gave it to him and went away.
I was told later he was the church bumpkin!
I went back to the same church last Christmas and found the same chap, looking none the worse for wear or age, sidling up to me again, “Five rupees!” he whispered. “Hey” I whispered back fiercely, “it used to be fifty paise!”
“Inflation!” said the church idiot with a smug look and I swear he was no idiot.
De Nephew! Was the lady’s brother a practical joker who made her an idiot? “Who is de idiot?” I wonder as I go around waiting to pounce on someone new to crack the same stale joke..!
“No! Please don’t tell me; I know..!”
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